Playing Imprint
by EnglishVoice
Summary: Bella/Jessica cinema night takes a turn. Bella makes different choices than in New Moon. The pack will wish Edward never left.
1. Red Light Zone

**Playing Imprint**

**I don't own Twilight or any characters from twilight. ****  
**

Red Light Zone

**The Kooks - Naive**

Jessica babbled about the zombie movie and Mike and ... stuff. I wasn't paying close attention as we headed towards McDonalds. Across the street sat One-Eyed Pete's advertising beer with metal doors propped open. Voices, music and clinking glass drifted out into the night. I felt déjà vu noticing four men leaning against the wall beside the doors. Jessica was focused on our destination. I stopped to take in the familiar scene of the intimidating men on a dark street.

The shorter dark character looked interested when I stared frozen on the side walk. It reminded me of the night E-, _he_ rescued me.

***"Bella?" Jessica whispered. "What are you doing?" **

"**I think I know them..."** I knew I should be avoiding them and my memory. My body remembered the fear from that night all to well and responded in kind.

"**Bella, come **_**on**_**!" **

Slowly I headed towards the four men. I felt adrenalin pumping through me. But didn't see much reason for my fear.

Jessica grabbed my arm.

"**Bella! You can't go in a bar!" **

"**I'm not going in, I just want to see something..."**

"**Are you crazy? Are you suicidal?"**

I turned back to the men who were watching us with amusement.

"**Bella, stop this right now!"** It was the most beautiful voice. It was _his_ velvety voice. My senses became more aware.

"**Go back to Jessica, you promised-nothing stupid."**

While deliberating what to do, Edward's voice continue to plead and order me to turn around. I kept walking while I enjoyed _his_ voice.

"**Hi,"** one of the men called. **"Can I help you with something? You look lost."**

I shook my head.

"**Can I buy you a drink?"** The short man offered with a sly smile.

"I don't drink." They looked at each other.

"What about cola? Or a coffee?" He threw an arm around my shoulders. _His_ beautiful voice was yelling at me fiercely. _He_ was _so_ angry with my right now. I drank in every word that _he_ said. This was stupid and reckless. But I couldn't bare to stop making him talk.

I let the men lead me into the bar. It was smoky and hurt my eyes. There were pool tables, a long bar taking up the length of the bar, a lot people a table set up. I soaked up every word that Edward said.

Jessica jerked through the doors, scanned the bar until she saw me. She was sulky as she came to sit with us at the bar. She gave me a glare and I knew that I would pay for this later.

The short man set up a game of pool for the two of us. His touching sent fearful shivers up my spine. This just elicited more words from _him_ making me very happy. He held me every time I attempted to take a shot and made sure that I didn't smack anyone in there with the pool cue. There was still an air of danger about the men.

Soon Jessica was tapping her phone showing me the time. I explained that I had to go but thanked them for teaching me how to play pool. _His _voice disappeared.

"Can I see you again?" I asked Matthew.

"I was hoping you'd say that. By the way, I have some work you might be interested in." He handed me a business card. I'd have to see him again if I wanted to hear _his_ voice again. I was determined to make sure that happened.

It had been a month since the night I had met Matthew. It had been three weeks since I had started going to his business working as a waitress during the earlier hours and I had met Giselle. I was eager, because the club started adrenalin pumping brought _his_ beautiful voice to me. Giselle was the "Mom" for the girls that worked for him. She was grooming me to work at his bar. The club was a strip joint. At first I didn't think I would go through with it. I just stuck around because so often, I would feel shivers of danger here. But each week, I had to up the ante to feel the danger. At first simple waitressing had brought it to me.

I was assured I could back out of the arrangement at any time. I observed the bouncers were protective of the girls and Matthew spoke nicely to the girls. Apparently, there weren't enough strippers to go around in these parts. They were very well paid and he treated them well to make sure that they didn't migrate to another club. I was warned about customers though. Some of them could be a problem and they had bouncers for a reason. They couldn't foresee all behaviour. Stalkers were usually the main concern. I appreciated the pepper spray Charlie had given me.

Some of the girls drank and did drugs to get through the nights. But some of them seemed to accept the job and found some empowerment in their sexuality. Giselle wanted me strong and healthy to join their ranks. She wanted me pole dancing which required some level of fitness. Being the klutz that I am the idea terrified me. But Giselle was convinced she could teach me.

I heard _him_ every visit to the club. It drove me to visit more often and push the limits a little bit further each time. I had to eat properly and do some weight lifting starting three weeks ago. It definite helped me under Giselle's instructions. I was amazed when Giselle true to her word had me pole dancing and I looked ok. Of course, I couldn't compete with the experienced dancers. I held off going on stage all week. I didn't think that I would hear _his_ voice on stage. But if I had rowdy enough audience I might? I thought about it all week. But, I had come this far and so I decided to go for it.

At the very least, it was something that got me out of the house and distracted me from my misery. I wasn't happy. I was going to run out of places to tell Charlie I was staying overnight once I started stripping during the night. He was just so relieved that I was eating and going out that he probably didn't realize how much free reign he had given me.

I had been wearing skimpier outfits waitressing. Guys were starting to notice me as I followed Giselle's guide with make-up and clothes. They looked at me like prey. Their eyes hunted me around the room. Some of them daring to put a hand on my back, hold me around the waist as I gave panicked looked to the bouncers who were there right away. I felt shivers go down my back and _him_ screaming in my ear frantically. _He_ didn't want this. But _he_ didn't hold up _his_ promises. I was breaking _his_ promise too. I wouldn't be the only one keeping their promise any more.

So tonight, here I was after my first night on stage. I had worked just three hours and was taking home four hundred dollars. I had paired up with a blonde girl who was still going to high school too. Of course, we wore tiny catholic school girl outfits.

When I walked back to the change rooms a wave of emotions I had kept in check crashed over me. I wanted outside into the night air immediately. I threw on the school girl outfit not thinking and grabbed a bunny hair sweater from my bag and ran out the side door. I should have thought more carefully and pulled out my street clothes, runners, jeans and a t-shirt.

My heart pounded in my chest and for some reason I didn't want to know tears bubbled and surged in my chest. I choked them back leaning my back against the brick wall at the back exit. I felt like a whore. I had known in the back of my head. But I had been so intent on hearing _his_ voice I had pushed those thoughts and feelings away. And now it all came down on me leaving me feeling shocked and choked up. It suffocated me as I clutched my waist trying to hold myself together. I couldn't get air into my lungs. The hole in my chest was about to let me fall apart.

"Bella?" A low husky voice called my name. Panic! My head jerked up to see who was seeing me like this. I didn't recognize who it was. He was standing near the parking lot shared with the cinema. I wasn't expecting to see anyone I would know at this hour on a school night.

I looked more closely. A tall man who looked around twenty had short black hair, was built like a tank and wearing only a t-shirt with a tattoo on his shoulder. He appeared to be standing with four brothers dressed similar and with the same skin and hair. None of them were really better dressed for the cold than I was only I was shivering now and they weren't. As they looked over me I became extremely aware of my exposed legs and high heels. I wanted to slip back into the club away from them. They definitely could see what slut I was.

"Sorry?" I asked. I couldn't figure out who this was even though he seemed familiar to me. I swiped at the tear that had spilled over and made an effort to calm myself. It was bad enough that whoever this was had probably figured out that I'm stripping now. I didn't need them to know that I was ashamed, I didn't need their pity. He was staring at me intensely. I felt a connection for a moment, so I shook my head to clear the strange moment.

"It's me, Jacob Black." Immediately I recognized him. I hadn't seen him since last he came by my place with Billy to watch a game. I felt a small smile touch my lips.

"Jake? It's a school night, what are you doing here?" His friends seemed amused that he knew me but also seemed to be dealing with something else as knowing glances passed between them.

"I could ask you the same thing. And..." He frowned and looked at the building. "When did you start stripping?" I felt awkward and exposed in every way imaginable.

"Charlie does know..anything..I'm eighteen and I didn't have enough saved for college for September. I'll have to start the next semester. And don't judge me." I choked out trying to sound indignant. Couldn't he have seen me on another night?

"But when did you start this? I heard you just started to get better." He looked so concerned for me. I wasn't sure how much of a pretence I could keep up for him.

I tried to smile but it probably looked more like a grimace. I could see that he honestly cared.

"I just worked my first night. It's an adjustment." I admitted. "I'm not a good waitress and this job just found me. It should work for now." I assured him.

"Bella, I'm Sam. You know, we're going to have to tell Charlie." It was the same man who had found me in the woods. "I know you're going through a hard time right now, but this isn't a healthy response."

After all of my hard work, he was threatening to take the voice I had worked hard so hear. I felt crushed. Jacob seemed to wince at my reaction. I wanted to sob hearing that Charlie would be told.

"You can't do that. You can't mess this up for me. If Charlie finds out, I'll just move out. I can get my own place if I have to. I earned four hundred dollars take home pay on a slow night and I left early. I could earn enough to support myself and put away for college at the same time. I'd rather stay with Charlie though." Jacob flashed a look at Sam that I didn't quite catch. Sam pressed on.

"You and I both know this isn't about money. What are you getting at the club? What are you looking for?" As usual I was an open book. My jaw dropped that he knew so easily. "I don't understand. You didn't enjoy your night. That much we can see. So what are you doing here?" This was getting much too personal. I was finished with Sam.

"Go fuck yourself. I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm freezing here." I was indeed so cold I was shaking and turning blue. "I'm going home. You're going to mind your own business." I headed to my truck.

"Sam." Jacob growled out. "You're chasing away my imprint." For a fleeting moment, I was curious, but I wanted to get away from Sam.

"Are you hungry?" Sam asked with resignation. I stopped in my tracks. I considered running for the truck but figured I might get him to keep his mouth shut by at least answering easy questions.

"No. I'm cold." I answered curtly.

"Can Jake drive you to my place? We need to talk and maybe we can find a change of clothes for you."

Jacob was following this conversation like a tennis match.

"My clothes are fine." I was dying to change my clothes but I wasn't going to let him see I was vulnerable right now. "Besides, I have jeans and a t-shirt in my bag. Why would I want to go home with you?" I asked defensively. Was he going to blackmail with this information? I really shouldn't have mentioned my earnings.

"Sam?" Jacob whined. They exchanged looks. Jacob came and held my hands and looked into my eyes. I felt a shock pass through us and my body was drawn to him. I felt contentment for the first time in a long time. "Bella, we just want to talk to you. You don't belong here." He glanced at the club. My thoughts went to _him_.

"I'm disposable, of course I belong here." As soon as it flew out of my mouth I felt bad because he looked like I just hit him.

"I'm sorry. I just meant... yeah, you can drive me. Just don't give me that sad face okay?" His face broke into a huge smile and he swept me into a bear hug. He didn't put me down as he walked me to my truck with my bag dangling at my side. I felt an unfamiliar smile on my face.

His friends seemed to be torn between amusement and concern at my occupation. I sorely wished they would all just go away.

I huddled and shivered into Jacob's side for the drive. He was so warm that he felt like water when I was dehydrated because I was so cold.

"I really wish you didn't see me like this tonight." I mumbled. "I barely know you. This is more private information than I care to share." I felt sleep pulling on me.

His voice was soft. "I've already seen you when Sam brought you back from the woods. That was private as well. I'm getting used to it. I just wish I could see you happy." I sighed enjoying his scent and comfort.

"This is going to sound strange but you're making me feel happy right now. I feel ... safe with you. Like nothing can touch me." I was safe from my own memories even tucked beside Jacob's side.

"That doesn't sound strange to me. I'm glad to hear that."

We didn't have the talk in the end. I woke up with the sun high in the sky. I could hear sounds coming from down hall. Dishes clattering. My head hurt and my mouth was dry. I was in an unfamiliar bedroom but didn't panic. The place felt calm. I smelled muffins cooking. I sat up and saw that I had been changed into shorts and t-shirt. I wasn't pleased thinking about Jacob or his friends changing my clothes. I got up and padded the cold floor down the hall and into the kitchen. A young woman was facing away from me, with long dark hair and her hands in a sink.

"Hi." I said.

She turned her face to me and I saw we scars running down her face. She had a kind smile.

"Hi. I hope you don't mind, but I changed your clothes. I didn't think they would be comfortable for sleeping in. You were sleeping like the dead. My name's Emily by the way." Why was I so out of it last night? "Do you think someone might have slipped something in your drink last night?" I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. She turned back to the dishes. "Or do you usually pass out like that? Jake said you were talking in your sleep." I groaned inwardly. I had no memory of my dreams, I cringed to think what I had said.

"Maybe someone did. But I do talk in my sleep. Usually, someone changing my clothes would wake me up. It's a little scary that I don't remember that. What time is it?"

"Schools about to get out. You scared us when you wouldn't wake up this morning. We managed to get you to wake up enough to talk, but you were out of it. We spoke to Charlie and said your truck broke down and that you weren't feeling well. As soon as Jake gets here from school, we're going to have a talk." I felt foreboding. She saw my face.

"Bella, they care about you. They don't want you to get hurt. You understand that right?" I nodded dumbly. She spoke with tenderness. As though she feared I would bolt at any moment. Sadly, her instincts were correct. I wanted to run away from the reality they were about to bring down on me. She gave me a smile before pulling open the oven door to look inside.

"They're ready." She said cheerfully and pulled the tray with a dish towel. She let it cool on the countertop. "Are you thirsty?" I nodded. I still wasn't talking. I was focused on not running. She took a glass out of the cupboard and poured me a glass of water from the sink. I drank it quickly. My head was still hurting.

The door opened and Sam walked in heading straight towards me. I felt dread for a moment but saw a beautiful smile on his face. He passed me and gathered Emily into his arms and gave her loving smile. It felt like an intimate moment and I walked out of the kitchen area and stood by the window leaning against the wall. I stared blankly at the trees outside.

"Bella, can you come sit down. Jake's going to be here soon. We are going to have that talk. Your eyes were dilated last night and there was a man waiting in his car. I think you were drugged. Which only reinforces my point. Bouncer's or not, it's not safe." I shuddered thinking of what might have happened if Jake hadn't been there.

"But how is it any of your business?" He frowned.

"Look, wait for Jake. We've got a lot to talk about." I crossed my arms and looked at him feeling like a petulant child.

"I want to go home."

"If you go straight home without talking, I will go have this talk with Charlie instead." My heart caught in my throat. He was milking that threat for all it was worth. Jacob burst, his eyes scanned the room and stopped at me. He had the same look in his eye as Sam had when he saw Emily. I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart skipped a beat. I felt a spark when he hugged me. I hardly knew him, but it felt as though he knew me. I was staring at his dark eyes and it felt like he was warming me from the inside. There was something there but I didn't know what it was. Was it just in my head?

***Page 108 to 114, darkened text is from New Moon SM. **

**A/N: I think imprinting is messed up. The imprints have too much control over their wolves and I doubt that all imprints are inherently good people. I'm sure some would be in the middle of self-destruct modes which could break a wolf and hurt the pack. So, this is exploring essentially exploring imprinting. **


	2. The Breeder's

**Playing Imprint  
**

The Breeder's

**The Police - Roxanne**

"Jake, are you ready?" Sam's hard voice interrupted Jacob's warm embrace. I stiffened at his tone. Jacob looked up at Sam in seriousness averting his eyes for a brief second.

"Bella, we need to talk. Can you sit on the couch please?" I kept my eyes ahead of me, avoiding Sam's gaze as I took a seat and looked at Jacob. He gave me a small and warm smile as he sat opposite to me.

"We know the Cullen's are vampires." I winced at their name. He paused noting my reaction before continuing. I could feel Emily and Sam watching as they stood to the side of us. "We know because we have our own secrets. Do you remember when I told you on the beach about the Cold One's?" I nodded. "I told you something else about our tribe. I told you that we are descended from wolves. Some of us still carry the gene. When leeches settle in the area, they trigger the gene and some of us become werewolves. We do this to protect people from vampires." He was watching me carefully. As though he were expecting a reaction from me. So I gave him a weak smile encouraging him to continue.

"I'm one of them, so are Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry. We form a pack. The werewolf brings something else with it. It's called imprinting." He had to take a deep breath at this point. "Sorry, I thought you'd have a bigger reaction to the news of the wolves. I thought I'd have to answer some questions or calm you down to give me more time to prepare for this part." He grimaced. I appreciated the honesty.

"Between mind reading vampires, being bitten and a young girl who can torture people with her mind, there's not much in the supernatural realm left that could shock me Jake." I admitted, hoping to put his mind at ease.

Instead his eyes bulged and Jacob and Sam yelled: _"What!"_

I cringed back from them both. Emily smacked Sam's arm. "Calm down. Let her explain." Emily said.

The two of them clearly made an effort to calm down but I could hear their breathing had picked up.

"You remember when I fell down the stairs at the hotel in Phoenix?" I asked. He nodded but Sam and Emily seemed confused. "Spring break, three vampires came across me and the _Cullen_'s out in the woods. One of them thought it was a great game to hunt me. The C_ullen_'s snuck me out to Phoenix. But James figured it out and lured me out when he convinced me that he had my mother. He decided the game wasn't enough, so he taped himself hurting me to convince _Edward_ to hunt him down. Then he bit me. The _Cullen_'s found us and killed James, then _Edward_ sucked the venom out of the bite because _he_ didn't want me to be a vampire with _him_. We had to come up with a cover story for all of my injuries, so they came up with the accident falling down the stairs." Jacob jumped up and ran out the front door. Sam looked pissed off.

"I'm sorry, that was probably more details than I should have given. I didn't mean to upset him. He really took that personally. I mean, I barely know him. He shouldn't be that upset." Sam's face was intense and Emily appeared to feel awkward.

"Don't worry, Jacob will be right back. We need that kind of information. Can I see where you were bitten?" I shrunk away from the idea but decided to co-operate. This might get them off my back and end their interest in me. So I held out my wrist. Sam came forward and touched the half crescent scars.

"The skin is cold and hard." He looked back to me in surprise. "It burned. It felt like my whole arm was on fire. If Edward had left me alone, I would have burned for three days until I was reborn." It felt wrong telling him these details. There were some things I wouldn't tell them.

"Wow Bella." Emily came over and eyed my scar. "I don't know if there are any other women that can say they survived being bitten by a vampire. You're lucky." She stated.

"I didn't want him to suck the venom out. I don't feel lucky. I feel abandoned and rejected." Thinking so much of _him_ and the Cullen's began to make me feel like I was going to fall apart. I brought my legs up to my chest and held myself together. It was hard to draw air into my lungs. It felt like they were missing.

Jacob came in through the door frowning. "Can I see the scar." I held my wrist to myself seeing how upset his face was.  
"Are you going to freak out again?" He looked at me earnestly. "No Bella. I'm just adjusting to the idea that you've already been in so much danger and I wasn't able to protect you from so much pain." He held out his hand sitting beside me on the couch. Hesitantly, I laid my wrist out in his hand. He traced the scars with his fingers. I felt him shake for a moment before calming down.

"What else were you going to tell me before I interrupted you. I'll do a better job of keeping my mouth shut. I promise." He looked up to Sam. I saw Sam nod.

"Sometimes werewolves see a girl and we imprint on them. Like a soul mate and love at first sight, but a little bit more complicated than that. After we faze for the first time, we see her and everything stops. She becomes the center of our universe and we will do anything and be anything for our imprint. Sam imprinted on Emily. Jared imprinted on Kim. I imprinted on you last night." I stopped breathing for a moment. I thought I already had a soul mate. It was _him_. Now this confirmed what _he_ had said. That it would be like they never existed here. _He_ was being replaced. _NO!_ My heart screamed.

"You can't replace _h-him!_ I'm not going to stop! I'm still going to go listen to _him!_ You won't take _him_ from me! It's all that I have left of _him_." I was crying and rambling and shaking. I couldn't see any reactions through my tears. I felt Emily's arms around me. I heard talking but couldn't understand what they were saying through my tears. My crying slowed until I saw Emily with me. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. I wished she didn't feel sorry for me.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked. I nodded my assent.

"What do you mean you go listen to him? We're not trying to replace anyone. We want to help you." She said patiently. She had a way of just quietly slipping into my trust.

"When I'm at the club, I can hear Edward." The hole in my chest throbbed at me as I brought myself to say his name. "It's stupid and reckless and I know _he_ would hate it. I can hear _his_ voice in my head, yelling at me to stop. But it's the only way I can feel connected to _him_ now." Emily rubbed my back. I felt the tears die away under her gentle scrutiny. She seemed to think carefully.

"How does it feel?" She asked. "What did you feel when you were dancing?"

"Something between shame and adrenalin, especially when I find the guy scary or intimidating. The voice is trying to protect me. You're going to send me to the psyche ward aren't you?" Emily looked shocked for a moment before pulling herself together.

"No. You know it's not real. It's just hard to understand. You don't enjoy dancing. Shame is not a positive emotion. I thought you felt sexy dancing." She pulled her hair back from her face letting it fall down her back.

"I feel sexy when I feel in control of the situation. I gave a lap dance to one guy last night, he was not allowed to touch me and I felt in control of that situation. Steve, one of the bouncer's, was right there for me. The guy I danced for wasn't intimidating at all and I didn't feel like I was dinner." I nibbled on my lower lip and my hands were fiddling in my lap. But I was sitting straight and strong, just as Giselle had taught me. In a few short weeks, she had ingrained some habits. She had corrected many of my habits but seemed to think men would like the lip nibbling.

"I need to tell you a few things about the imprint Bella. Will you listen?" Emily asked me seriously.

"Yeah." I tried to hide my reluctance. I didn't want to be drawn into the lives of the wolves.

"If something happens to you, it will hurt Jake. Hurting Jake will hurt the pack and it will hurt me and Kim. He's going to want to keep you safe. He'll be whatever you want him to be, but right now he's pining for you. He's going to need to see you often. The longer he goes without seeing you, the more it will hurt. Sam went almost a week without seeing me once and he was a mess by the end of the week. Is there something you would like to ask me?" I turned over the information in my mind.

"They imprint for a mate? They're part animals. Animals breed. They're pretty hot, they wouldn't have a hard time finding girls who'd have sex with them. Girls who would give them babies. Why the imprint? I don't understand. Jake doesn't need me to breed with. I don't want babies." The more I thought about it, the more concerned I was.

"I've been with Sam for a year, I'm not pregnant or planning to get pregnant any time soon. You don't have to do anything with Jake that you don't want to. You are in control of the imprint. He won't hurt you or leave you or push you to do anything. He just wants to make you happy which is why he isn't insisting that you leave the club. He thinks it's making you happy. But once he realizes it's not making you happy, he's going to let you know what he really thinks." I wasn't pleased with that piece of information.

"I'll have to give the impression I'm happy there then."Emily's mouth opened to say something when I quickly asked my question. "But you didn't answer why the imprint? What is it for?" Emily thought for a moment.

"We honestly don't know. Sam thinks it's finding someone who makes a good genetic match. Someone who will make stronger wolves." I laughed.

"I'm a klutz, I'm drawn to danger like a moth to a flame, I'm weak and I'm a vampire's rejects." The laughter stopped with my last point as the truth of it hit me. "I don't see how I could help make stronger wolves. The only thing I can do is block mind readers and read books. Anyway, I'll think about what you've said. I need to go home and make dinner for Charlie." Emily pulled me to her for a hug. I changed into my own jeans and t-shirt and handed her back her clothes.

Emily was giving me directions to the main road out of La Push as I stood on the porch when three of the pack walked up to us. Emily pointed them out.

"That's Paul, this is Jared and Embry is back there."

"If you see a giant dog outside your house tonight, don't get your Dad's gun and shoot." Jared told me with a smile. _What? They're guarding me now?_ I didn't like that. It suggested ownership to me. A claim.

"It's Friday night. I've got work. But you can play catch in my backyard if you please." Jared lost his smile. Paul growled. I felt intimidated but refused to show it. I held my ground with my shoulders back looking him straight in the eye. This only made his face darken.

"You're hurting Jake to get off on losers jerking off under the table in a strip joint." He said menacingly.

"The bouncers would remove any guy pleasuring himself under the table. The place isn't raunchy." I sniffed. Paul sneered at me.

"Are you trying to suggest that the place has class?" I felt shame pushing down on my chest but refused to acknowledge. But it was too late, I blushed. They laughed. I pushed past them.

"Guys, back off." Emily called. But I think I'd probably pushed Paul too far coaxing.

He slapped my butt as I walked past. Everyone went silent.

"Jake's gonna kill you." Embry whined. I stood still as I battled between anger and shame. I reached down for my dignity that felt like it just got trampled on.

"Bella," Paul taunted. "We're going to visit you at the club and get lap dances until you quit." My stomach dropped before something occurred to me.

"I'll have to work more nights than you can afford asshole. I'll do you a favour and not mention you assaulting me to Jake." He'd owe me one. He shrugged.

"He'll find out anyway."I tried to shove past him as I noticed he had walked me up against the porch. I felt shaky but refused to drop my gaze, knowing this was about threats and intimidation. "How many private sessions in their back rooms did you give last night?" His eyes were just barely above mine as he bent over me placing his hands either side of me on the rail behind me. His voice was even and low. His voice was rough baritone that reverberated at this distance in my stomach. I felt rage build fire up in the pit of my stomach. I didn't move my eye from his. Without his tone and facial expression, I wouldn't have figured out he was calling me a whore. My co-ordination guaranteed I wouldn't bring my knee high enough to catch him without having to look down and that killed the element of surprise. But my hands had better co-ordination.

"Paul," I shot my hand out and grabbed his crotch finding his balls and a semi-erection. That only made me angrier. I twisted and yanked hard on his balls. "I'm not a prostitute." His face crumpled in pain and I ducked under his arm and marched to my truck. Emily and the two guys were howling with laughter. I got in my truck and began to drive away. Paul was clutching himself on the ground. I caught myself grinning. Getting last word felt good.

At home I took a shower to clean off the make-up and wash the hairspray out of my hair. I didn't want Charlie to see that. I wondered how long this would last before Sam spoke to Charlie. Tonight I would hear _him_. The club would be full and bound to set him off. It was strange but I felt eager anticipation and dread at the same time. I blow dried my hair straight, but started from underneath initially to give it bigger volume for tonight. My head had cleared and I was feeling much better than a few hours ago. But I was starving.

I had a casserole I'd prepared yesterday and left in the fridge. I heated up the oven and started chopping vegetables. When the oven had heated up, I put the casserole in and finished preparing the vegetables. Just as dinner finished shaping up, Charlie came in through the front door. We acknowledged each other. I could see Charlie appraising my health. I was still tired from my sleepless nights, but I was looking better now that I was eating and even exercising a little. Aside from being tired, I probably looked better than I did before _he_ left.

We ate dinner in comfortable silence. I told him I was going out with Jessica and would be sleeping over for a movie night. He left to watch sports while I cleaned up after dinner. I pulled out a shiny outfit from the bottom of my closet and tucked it into my bag. I was walking downstairs when the door bell rang. My heart and mind raced. It was Sam, he was going to tell Charlie about me stripping!

"I'll get it!" Panic inching into my voice. I stumbled down the stairs in a rush before pushing myself through the door. I landed in a large hot chest and arms catching me. The door fell shut behind me, smacking my butt and locking my coat in the house. I didn't care right now. I lifted my face to see Sam. But it wasn't him, it was Jacob.

"Jake?" He looked concerned but broke into a smile looking at me.

"Hi Bells. I heard you're working tonight. I don't suppose I could convince you otherwise. You smelled like you drugged last night. That's why we couldn't leave you alone. I don't want that to happen again. I didn't know how to ask you but are you using drugs are did someone spike your drink?" He looked sheepish and shuffled his feet. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"I don't do drugs. So I guess someone put it in my drink. I won't put my drink down in future." I made my way to my truck and he walked alongside me.

"Do you think I could take a ride with you or should I take Sam's truck?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he serious?

"I'll give you a ride tonight, but that's the last time. I'm not helping you guys harass me at work. Just how do you think you're going to pay for this? What if I work every night for a month?" I unlocked my door, got in and climbed over to unlock the passenger side door. He slid into the driver's seat to my chagrin. I dropped my bag at my feet.

"You won't work every night, Charlie would get suspicious. I have my doubts you could work more than a few nights a week under his radar. Besides, Paul screwed up today. Sam put an injunction over me hurting him. Instead Sam ordered Paul to hand over his savings to me. Besides the money I've earned working on peoples cars, I shouldn't have a problem visiting you at work. I just need to keep you safe is all." He had backed out of my driveway and was driving down the road now. The headlights lighting the path ahead of us, with glimpses of trees to the sides. The cold caught up with me now and felt a chill spread through me.

"The bouncers keep me safe."

"You were a mess coming out of the club last night. I didn't see your bouncers watching you when you came stumbling out drugged and about to cry with some perv getting out of his car walking towards you. It was as if he had been waiting for you. Probably the same guy who drugged you. I was pretty scared for you that you weren't all that aware of your surroundings." I grit my teeth but didn't have a response. There wasn't anything confrontational about his tone. Any anger directed at him would be misdirected. I knew that. So I drove in silence.

My poor ancient truck was getting tired of this drive. If it died from all this driving, I doubted Jacob would help me fix it. It would make me happy. Maybe he might. I didn't want to use my savings to buy a new vehicle.

Jacob frowned at the missing radio. "What happened to the radio?"

"It made me sad."

"I think you made the truck sad. It looks like it met a terrible end. Who took it out?"

"I did." He whistled quietly.

"You're never going to touch my tools." He muttered.

I tried not to smile. I was angry with him for imprinting on me. I was angry because he was driving my truck and following me to work. But holy crow was he ever cute.

I focused on the road ahead and listened to my truck groan.


	3. The Libertine

**Playing Imprint  
**

The Libertine

**Pulp – Pencil Skirt  
**

Jacob watched me as I walked into the back entrance of the club with his arms crossed over his chest. He was tense and he clearly wasn't happy with me. I felt bad for him, but really I was following my prerogative and it wasn't my job to make him happy.

"Bella, you're right on time. I have a minute to help you get ready. I like how you did your hair. I'll just finish it up. Show me your outfit." I pulled the clothes out of my bag for Giselle to see. She held them out to look them over with a critical eye. She was in her forties and looked beautiful with black hair and baby blue eyes enhanced with dark blue eyeliner. But she had a gravelly voice that gave away her age. "This is good for a night out dancing with your friends but this skirt isn't short enough. The top is great! Come with me. Let's see if we can't improve this. I had a great idea for your make-up. You have lovely doe eyes, I was thinking of going with a sexed up Audrey Hepburn look." Giselle continued talking and had so much to say. Some of us liked her help, others were more comfortable getting ready by themselves. I wouldn't do this without her help.

"You seem a little off. Did something happen?" Giselle broke my dazed following.

"Um ... yeah. Someone I know saw me leaving the club last night. He said he's going to be here tonight. It's a lot of pressure. You know?" She grinned at me.

"Well then, we better make it good then, huh honey?" I exhaled and worked with her to get me ready.

Time passed and I peeked out and saw Kate, Jen and Serena already out on the platforms. I'd taken my time getting ready postponing coming out to face Jacob. In half an hour Neelu would be out and taking the stage alone. She had a routine and would take center stage. I had to make sure I didn't watch her instead of working. She was one of the brave amongst us who embraced the job and found empowerment.

"Go get him." Giselle slapped my butt playfully. I felt bad for hurting Paul knowing that I wouldn't do anything to Giselle for that. I straightened my back, pulled my shoulders back, chin low and focused on walking out swinging my hips and keeping my balance. I caught myself darting my eyes to find Jacob but reigned myself in.

Other girls usually hopped onto a platform. But working with Giselle, it was clear that it was much too dangerous for a klutz like me. Giselle was creative and found a few different ways to climb onto the stage or platforms without looking like an idiotic klutz. I walked up to one of the bouncers with a mischievous smile and pulled his hands to my waist.

"Help me up Ian." He flashed a smile before returning to a serious frown again. I towed him behind me hearing a few patrons cheering Ian. I winked to the loudest cat caller. I hadn't heard from _him _yet. I turned around at the platform and put his hands on my waist and my hands on his shoulders. He lifted me up and I kept my bent knees together until I could see that I had cleared the stage. He made sure I was steady on the platform being well aware of my lack of balance. I curled a finger at him. He leaned an ear up as though expecting me to whisper to him. I whispered thank you and kissed his cheek. I lifted my butt in the air straightening my legs before rolling my body up and flipping my hair before turning to the pole. Taking a grasp on the pole high above my head in a swift motion I swept my body around the pole pulling my knees up and concentrated on keeping a steady momentum around the pole. I enjoyed being strong enough to hold my body weight.

I began to playfully undress when I caught Jacob out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting at the bar looking miserable. We made eye contact and I felt a shiver that I fought back and looked away. I felt guilt pull at me but continued toying with the patrons in front of me. Just as Giselle had worked with me, with my doe eyes, I played up innocent well. The loudest of my small audience was fun and playful, in turn making my job easier. He wasn't in the least bit intimidating and I felt flirty and fun entertaining him. Soon I was down to my G-string and heels, but I didn't pass that point. There wasn't much left to the imagination anyway. I tried not to think about that. Just then Neelu was coming out. Her mother was Indian and her father was American. She was an interesting combination of her parents with light gray eyes with tan skin. She had dark brown hair that offset her eyes beautifully. She really was tiny but filled the stage with her presence.

"Bella," Ken called me. "You have lap dances. The loud one here." He indicated with his chin looking at the flirty guy from the front. "And this giant." He looked towards Jacob. My heart beat faster, he watched me look over to him wide-eyed and grinned at me. "Are you okay with that?" Ken asked.

"Um..yeah, sure. Of course." _Oh God!_ Jacob already had too much of my attention. I'm supposed to be working here.

I smirked walking over to my first dance.

"Hi there." I greeted brushing a hand over his shoulder. His friends had shit eating grins but he had a smirk and played coy. He raked his eyes over my body and he leaned into me I sensed he was about to take control. Fear crept up on me.

"Bella, turn around and leave. You're going to get hurt. This is all ridiculous." _He _started yelling at me, fighting for control. I enjoyed his protective rants.

I fought to gain control over the tone of the situation. "What's your friends name?" I asked the man beside him, deciding I'd take the ball out of his court. He was fun but a bit too aggressive in close quarters. I'd observed the girls for a few weeks picking up their tricks.

His friend stuttered. "It's Kyle. I mean, his name. Not my name. I'm David." I smiled, he'd played his part for me beautifully. I felt my confidence grow and leaned down to his ear.

"Thank you David." I turned back to Kyle. He looked to be in his early twenties, clean cut wearing a backwards baseball hat with a good build. _He _stopped talking.

I brought my hair around to one side and over my shoulder. I leaned over him placing my hands on his knees but keeping my butt straight in the air. "I was told you paid for a dance." His eyes darted between my lips and hanging breasts. He nodded at me sucking in a breath. I was relieved to have control over the tone and felt more comfortable from this point on.

I felt eyes on me and I fought the urge to look at Jacob. I would not look at him. I focused my attention on Kyle. I stepped back and turned slowly for him. Kyle's face became coy again, but he was manageable. I continued dancing for Kyle until Ken indicated when Kyle's time was up. I stroked Kyle's chest and wished him a good night as I moved on to Jacob. But he wasn't where I expected.

I looked to Ken for guidance. He tilted a chin to a back corner that was quiet and empty. Ken put his clip board down and mouthed to me. "Are you okay back there?" I nodded assent. Ken smiled reassuringly and moved on.

I found Jacob with a beer watching me walking to him. I swayed my hips walking to him. My balance had improved working with Giselle and weight lifting. It paid off in this moment. With Jacob's eyes on me, I suddenly felt very naked. Of course, I was only wearing a G-string and heels. But it felt weird in front of Jacob. The boy I'd met on the beach still held in my memory. Back when flirting was a feat for me and done badly. I guessed he liked it because now he was paying for me to seduce him. Or he was just jealous.

"So are you going to give me some space for your dance?" I asked giving him a naughty smile. At the very least, I was going to do a good job of this.

He pushed the table away knocking a chair down with it. His face was hard. He clearly still wasn't happy about the dance he had watched. Hopefully I could distract him from this concern. "Anything you want Bells." He said darkly.

This wasn't a good start. I stepped between his knees and placed my hands either side of him on the back of the chair. I leaned my breasts forward so his nose was between them. I brushed against him and slowly pulled away. I took small steps touching my hips keeping my eyes on him for as long as possible as I turned around. I placed my hands on his knees facing away from him. I swayed my hips down to his crotch in circles until my butt touched him. I was so nervous but refused to acknowledge it to myself. I ground over him gently until I felt something hard. I nearly yelped and decided it was time to stop that. I took a deep breath to steady myself. I stood up and glanced over my shoulder still giving a coy smile turning around still swaying I traced my fingers up my body. My nerves were pulling on me and I found myself nibbling on my lower lip again. He swallowed hard as I watched his adam's apple bob. We made eye contact and I felt a pull towards him. I yanked my feelings away from his pull. He wasn't having me. I wasn't his breeder. While he made me nervous, I didn't feel the least bit dirty dancing for him. But I told myself I was doing my job. I was glad I was too nervous without my clothes to feel aroused.

I took a stance before him and arched my back as I danced slowly undulating my hips bringing myself down low to the ground. I held his thighs and used him to aid bringing me back up. I was working on strengthening my thighs at the gym but couldn't comfortably bring myself back up and still look sexy while doing it. The other girls were stronger and more limber.

I brought my knees between his thighs supporting my weight pressing against his crotch and held the back of the chair rocking in front of him. He seemed to be having a hard time holding still at this point.

I whispered in his ear. "You had better hold still there, they'll kick you out if you touch me." I smiled before I gently blew in his ear. I could feel a shiver run through him. I was pleased to see that I was having an effect on him. I then placed a knee on each of his thighs and leaned my body against him. I breathed down his neck and I carefully slid my knees back together between his legs and slid down his body onto the floor.

Ken caught my eye and indicated our time was up. I stood and spoke into his ear. "I hope you enjoyed yourself. Our time's up." I turned and didn't look at him as I swayed my hips walking away on my heels. I thought I heard a whimper but refused to look back and check.

Neelu was done on the stage so I worked my way back to my platform. A hand caught my wrist. "That, was hot." One of the Friday night regulars said. He was a big spender and a favourite of Matthews. He seemed okay, if not a little raunchy at times. I didn't like that he grabbed my wrist.

"What's that?" I asked confused for a moment.

"Dani, move over okay." He ordered one of the two girls sitting either side of him. Neither one of them worked at the club. He patted the chair beside him indicating that I sit down. I knew Matthew would approve of me joining Gary, so I took a seat. "I saw you dance for the big guy over there. That was hot. You're pretty new here. I'm just surprised. You look so innocent but that wasn't innocent."

"I know him." I admitted. "He's a good guy. I thought I should give my best effort."

Gary laughed and flicked ash from his cigarette in the ashtray. "I'll say. If I were him I might need a trip to the restroom to cool off after that. What are you drinking babe?"

I tried not to bristle at being called babe. But his attitude was laid back and I tried not to take it personally. Donna stood over us taking orders for the table.

"Just water." I requested.

"Donna, I'll have another beer thanks." He looked at me again. "Water? How old are you?" I looked down at my hands.

"How old are you?" I countered. He laughed.

"It's not polite to answer a question with a question but seeing as you asked. I'm thirty-six. Now, how old are you?" He leaned in to hear me speak with the casual manner of two friends chatting.

"I'm eighteen." He clutched his chest.

"You're killing me! Arrgh! I'm twice your age and you seem so much more mature than me." He laughed. I couldn't help but smile along with him. He was easy to talk to.

"You're friend doesn't like me much." He cocked an eyebrow to Jacob who was frowning at us. "Are you sure he's not your boyfriend?"

"No, but he is important to me. Someone drugged me last night and so he's taken it upon himself to follow me here and make sure nothing happens to me." Gary gave a playful shocked look.

"I don't blame him. That makes more sense if he's already a friend of yours. Any idea who drugged you? I have an idea but he's not here tonight." My eyes widened.

"I have no idea. My friend figured it out when he saw me coming outside last night."

Our drinks arrived and we thanked Donna. Sidney came out onto the stage and danced a routine. She was touching forty but didn't look it. She was confident, strong and just as creative as Giselle. I wished I actually had confidence and didn't just pretend to have confidence. She had thick tight curly brown hair reaching wildly past her shoulders, angular features, tall and if she didn't have implants, would probably have had perfect proportions. In my opinion, the implants damaged the effect even if they did move naturally.

"How does your friend feel about you working here?" Gary brought me back to the conversation.

"Not too happy. But it's not really his choice, is it?"

"I guess not." Smoke blew in my face and I coughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." Gary apologized sincerely. I wasn't liking where this conversation was going and how personal it was getting.

"So, what do you do for a living Gary?"

"I run an online store selling sex aids to women. I also have a storefront in Seattle, but women generally tend to shop online. There wasn't a lot of competition for business specializing in women's sex products when I started. So I've done well fortunately. We're called 'Come As You Are'." I listened with my mouth agape. "What can I say? I like women. It was the first line of work that I actually liked." This attempt to steer the conversation to something more comfortable had blown up in my face. My face grew hot and I felt myself blushing. He chuckled at me. I drank back my glass of water and tried to focus on Sidney but she was finishing up on stage. I looked around for something else to occupy me while I cooled off.

Then my eyes rested on Jacob who was bent over himself laughing as though he had heard the whole conversation. I narrowed my eyes at him. He probably had heard the whole conversation with mythical superpowers. _Damn him._ I willed him to explode under my gaze.

Gary laughed at us both. "If I didn't know better I'd swear he was listening over all this noise." He observed Jacob. "It is funny that you're visibly squirming listening to details about my business when you're a stripper sitting at this table in only a G-string." I closed my eyes and took a cooling breath. That didn't work in the smoke filled club. I coughed. I suddenly really wished I had some clothes on because as he mentioned it I felt very naked again.

"I'd love to see that corset top and skirt on you again." Gary hinted.

"I'll be right back Gary." I smiled gratefully for his suggestion and went up to my platform and pulled my clothes down and headed backstage to put them on. I came back out and he was leaning back on his chair with an elbow on the back. He smiled at me and I saw that Jacob had joined him. I held a stiff smile on my lips and tried to maintain my composure as I took a seat.

"I was telling Jake here that I have some private parties coming up soon. If you're interested in working he's requested to come and keep an eye on you." Gary pursed his lips in amusement. "What do you think? I could pay him to be security for the other two dancers for the night as well." I felt a blush creeping up on me again. "For a stripper, you blush a lot honey." A glare slipped out of my control and I quickly suppressed it. That wasn't polite in front of patrons.

I was seated between Gary and Jacob. His girls had left the table.

"It's sweet watching young love." I opened my mouth to deny his observation but he continued. "I don't see much of that around here. Jacob, you really have to get her out of here in the first six months. They're pretty much committed to the pay check after that. They earn more than a teacher's salary without student debt." He was addressing Jacob as if I wasn't at the table. I felt anger building but pushed it down. Jacob was glancing at me with concern. "If she ends up moving out, it will only be harder to get her to quit. But don't ever throw it back in her face." That was when I stopped listening to his words, I was getting too angry.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." I stood up and almost fell when my chair toppled. Gary and Jacob caught an arm and threw looks at each other that I couldn't read.

"Will you come to my private parties? I am going to check with Matthew, I'm not trying to steal his girls." I just wanted to get out of there and I'd agree to anything to get away from the situation.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later." I nodded to Jacob and headed backstage trying to keep a sway to my hips but lacking the surety of earlier in the evening.

"Ken, I have to go. I feel sick." He acknowledged me and touched my shoulder.

"You did great out there tonight." I nodded a thank you.

I was shaken up by Gary's words. I'm sure he intended to shake me up. Gary acted like he knew me and exactly where I was headed. He didn't know me or anything about me. I stripped down and put on my jeans, t-shirt, hooded sweater and runners. I went to the sink and washed the make-up off with a round pad. Then I ran my hands through my hair trying to make it not so big. I left the skirt with Giselle and thanked her before packing up my bag and leaving the exit. Jacob had brought the truck around and was waiting for me. It was freezing and I wished I had brought my coat. I climbed in and saw Jacob's goofy smile.

"What is it? You don't think you're getting laid do you?" I accused. He pulled the truck away still smiling.

"I enjoyed the last dance and your friend Gary was fun. He knows how to push your buttons." My head jerked up realizing what had just happened.

"He did that on purpose? He was trying to get me to leave?" Jacob grinned but didn't answer me.

"I'm being ganged up on." I grumbled.

Jacob laughed. "With those innocent bright eyes of yours up on stage, who doesn't want to take care of you? You're too cute to strip." I glared at him.

"When you whimpered during the lap dance, I wasn't too cute to strip for you." I retaliated. His head dropped a little and he was quiet. I was still cold but I stubbornly decided not to warm myself on him. I watched the road ahead. It was trance inducing.

I pulled out my cell phone to check the time. The night was still too early to sneak up the stairs to bed. Charlie wouldn't start snoring for at least another 2 hours. I sighed feeling tired.

"What is it?" He asked with sincere concern which only made me feel bad because I was trying to be annoyed with him. I was too tired for being angry with him. It was hard work.

"It's a bit early to be sneaking past Charlie. I'll have to wait around for bit before I can go to bed. I wasn't planning on leaving early." He frowned.

"In that case you're staying at my place. You're tired. This is something I can take care of. Besides, you could still wake Charlie even if you did wait and you've probably told him you're staying over someone's house." I wanted to argue with him. And I tried.

"What do you get out of this?"

"The satisfaction of knowing that you're home safe and sound away from perverts."

"I'll have the couch." I said firmly.

"No, I'll take the couch. You take my bed." The trucks heat started to make me overwhelmingly drowsy. After all of the noise and energy this truck ride was lulling me to sleep. Even arguing with Jacob I felt safe and content. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I don't want to sleep in a strange bed by myself. Will you stay with me?" I murmured. My brain was telling me off, but something else was talking in my haze.

"Of course I'll stay with you honey. As long as you want me too."


	4. Enraged Squirrel

**Playing Imprint  
**

Enraged Squirrel

**Broken Social Scene – Forced To Love**

_Too hot! Tied down! The last vestiges of my memories of the Cullen's and Edward burned with me at the stake. I looked down to the see the hole in my chest raw and engulfed in flames. I saw the crowd pointing at me screaming in horror. _

"Bella! You have to stop, you're scaring me!" My eyes flew open and I scrambled back away from the big hot fire tying me down whimpering. Light spilled into the room from the doorway casting shadows in a foreboding way. My heart was pounding so fast it physically hurt me.

The fire and force pulling me down became clear to me. It was Jacob and his imprint. He looked at me with startled eyes. I wanted _his_ voice. A crowd hadn't been screaming. It was me that was screaming before. Billy was in the doorway in his wheel chair. He was wearing robe over pajama's. I'd been so bad he actually got out of his bed and into his wheelchair to check on me. I felt like an idiot. I brought my knees up and leaned back against the wall and dropped my head into my hands in resignation.

I realized I was crying and still sobbing. I fought to swallow the tears and find control.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have slept over here. Charlie's learned to ignore it. I have bad dreams. I'm sorry, I'll go home." I rubbed my face muttering more to myself than to either of them.

"Bella, what could your dream have been to cause a sound like that?" Billy sounded shocked. "That's not a bad dream, it sounded like you were being tortured." I felt compelled to explain myself.

"I was being burned at the stake with stuff that was important to me. And some other stuff was going on. It's just a lot of stuff I want to keep being destroyed and choices are being limited and...and...I worked hard to find some comfort and more men are taking it away." I blubbered in a horrible sleepy word vomit. I found myself building up momentum speaking my realization aloud. "Is it just me or do the men in my life all seem to have authority over me, supernatural powers or provide my pay check? Where's my power?" I demanded starting to feel angry. "You know, I'm done with the pepper spray, I'm getting a taser. No! Scratch that. If I get a M16, you back off? I get that humans aren't a match for vampires. But I should at least be able to defend myself from human assholes." Billy and Jacob looked a little confused and amused by my rant. Billy finally laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" I demanded to know.

"M16's are military and you can't carry them with you to work. But thank you for the peek inside your head Bella." Jacob was laughing as he talked.

"Where's my power?" Billy chuckled wheeling his way back to his room.

I slunk down into the bed and dragged the sheets over my head feeling childish. Where did I come up with this crap? My face blushed with embarrassment.

"I'm signing up for kickboxing at least." I grumbled before lying down and curling into a ball. Jacob lay behind curling up around me.

"Are you spooning me?" He jerked away from and I immediately missed the heat.

"Yeah. I guess I am. I'm sorry." I thought for a second.

"That's okay, you're warm. But you have move soon because you get too hot." He jumped up and opened the window and came back.

"Let's see if that works." He said curling around me again. He stroked my hair and it was soothing.

"You have power over me." He whispered in my ear.

That wasn't enough for me. I thought of the movie The Terminator. Sarah Connor was only human, but she fought back. I wanted to have her strength and determination.

I nibbled on toast at the dining table as Jacob chugged back a large glass of water in one short gulp. The place was small but tidy and clean. It lacked decoration, a woman's touch. Which was to be expected when Billy's wife had been killed in a car accident years back. Still, it was surprisingly well maintained with two men in the house.

"So, Sam's your leader?" I asked. He looked at me and frowned.

"For now." He replied.

"What does that mean?" I asked. Billy turned down the tv.

"Until Embry takes over the Alpha position." Billy said. "She's going to find out son. We only kept quiet because his mother kept it quiet." He addressed Jacob.

"Why would Embry take over from Sam? Sam's older and has more experience already." I pointed out. Jacob was eyeing my food and I pushed the plate towards him. I wasn't feeling all that hungry. He swallowed it back immediately with an appreciative half grin.

"The Alpha position was hereditary. It's carried through the Blacks." Billy explained.

"I didn't realize you were brothers."

Jacob frowned. "I didn't either until I phased." He gave a look to Billy. "I'm still waiting on that story Dad." Jacob was pursing him lips and glaring at Billy.

"This sounds like a private conversation. I should leave." I pointed out and headed to my bag.

"No Bella. You're his imprint. You'll hear it anyway, might as well hear it directly from me. Jacob, he was actually born 2 months premature. He would have been a month younger than you but Janice was in rough shape through the pregnancy.

"It started when Sarah and I separated because she wanted to leave the rez and we'd gotten tired of arguing. After I started a relationship with Janice, I found out Sarah was pregnant with you and we decided to try again. We agreed to stay on the rez for another five years. Janice and Joshua Uley became an item before told Joshua that she was pregnant and he came to me saying it was too soon to be his. When we approached her, she ran away to the Makah rez. The idea of having a son being raised far from me hurt. Me and Sarah talked and agreed not to push Janice, but to make an offer of help her. Janice agreed to move back here and we kept our word to keep quiet. I've never figured out what was going on in her head and why she preferred everyone think he was Joshua's son when Joshua wasn't much of a father. Until Embry phased, there was still a possibility that he was Joshua's and so we didn't push the matter. But now Sam has felt Embry's Alpha tone, it's clear who his father is. But I have to keep my word to Janice.

"I admit, it's the one birth right he has been able to receive that you have not. It doesn't make up for the fact that I wasn't able to be a father to him or that he has to live with the title of bastard. But it's something. I'm sorry that hurts you Jake, but the truth is I've had very little choice in how this has been handled. Before your mother died, she wanted Embry to be raise in our home as her own. Don't forget that."

I sat quietly and sensed that me and Billy were both waiting for Jacob to digest this information.

"Why haven't you told Embry all of this? Do you know how hurt he is?" Jacob asked accusingly.

"He phased a few weeks ago, you phased two weeks ago. We weren't sure before and now I am sure I've been trying to talk to Janice. She doesn't understand why I'm so sure and she doesn't want everyone to know still. Now I'm figuring out what to do next." Jacob's hands clenched into fists and I could see he was trying to control his temper.

"Well figure it out. Soon." He stalked out the door.

I cleaned up and headed home. It was nice to see a family drama playing out. I wasn't the only messed up person. Billy had made mistakes too. I felt a certain kinship with Janice. We had secrets that we kept from those closest to us. It was clear that she had ulterior motives that she was hiding like I was hiding _his_ voice. It was only a matter of time that my secret would come out just as Janice's secret had come out. It only took someone from Forks to visit the strip club and everyone would know.

I groaned at that thought. Mike, Tyler and Eric all pining over me as it was. I could only imagine what I would deal with if they knew I was stripping. And Lauren would be a nightmare. I was fully clothed but felt naked. Damn _him_! Why wasn't _he_ here with me?

I looked out of the kitchen window and saw the rain coming down in sheets. I wanted to yell and scream but Charlie was in the living room. I didn't want to freak him out. I dumped the dishes I was washing in the sink and ran to the front door.

"I need to make a run to the store." I yelled as I threw on my raincoat and shoes. I saw Charlie getting up so I moved faster. I slipped out the door and skidded to my truck almost flipping out on the wet concrete. I saw Charlie out of the corner of my eye. I knew he had planned to have a talk with me, but I needed out. I needed to yell and scream. I pretended not to see Charlie and drove away. There was only one place to direct my anger.

I set my wipers to full speed trying to see out of the windscreen. I drove fast compared to my usual speed but tried not to push the truck too hard. I searched along the road for the driveway. I almost passed it as it was hidden in the overgrowth. Finally, the big white house came into view. I got out of the truck and walked up to the door. I could see through the windows how empty it was. But the house was there. A memorial to all that I had lost. I kicked the door and screamed at the top of my lungs with rage and anguish.

Nothing.

The hole in my chest threatened to pull me apart and that only made me angrier. I felt raw. I was falling to pieces and I wasn't getting a reaction from anyone. But I didn't want anyone to see me like this. What did I want? I wanted the house to come down.

I stormed into the brush and searched for a strong branch that wasn't too heavy for me. For a moment, I felt silly for my childish behaviour. But my anger won out. I found my weapon and yelled curses at the house. I couldn't bring myself to hate _them_ or _him_. But I could safely hate the house. I was even more frustrated when the windows wouldn't smash for me. I just left scratches. I dumped the useless branch and stormed past the house. My hood had fallen down and the sheets of rain seeped down my hair inside my coat. My hot anger and frustration kept me warm and somehow the rain was comforting. There was a river behind the house. I took a seat on the wet muddy ground and watched it.

"Bella, you're here alone." A rich voice purred to my side. I whipped my head around to see the source.

"Laurent." My was voice still trembling with rage.

"Bella, keep him talking." _Edward_'s voice came to me. _Huh, he talks to me here too._

"Screw you." I whispered.

"Excuse me?" Laurent responded to my whisper. _Shit!_ He heard that. I decided to continue in the same vein. I was dead anyway, might as well go down fighting. I wasn't going to be the sacrificial lamb anymore.

"You heard me. I said screw you." My clenched my fists. His eyes were red. Fear kicked in. He wasn't vegetarian. He hadn't gone to Alaska after all. I really was in the process of signing my death warrant. I focused on my anger.

"Brave words from a small human girl. What happened to the Cullen's? They left their pet unprotected." The hole throbbed.

"I served my purpose and they left." I wanted to throw a Molotov cocktail at him. I wondered what that would do and figured I was about to die anyway, I might as well serve my curiosity. "What happens if someone throws a Molotov at you?" He grinned at me, finding my question humorous.

"It would hurt. We're flammable." He conceded. "But it wouldn't be enough to fend me off from you. Now, what purpose did you serve the Cullen's that they were so determined to protect you?" He took a step closer to me. I stood my ground firmly. He seemed slightly hesitant. I knew that I knew what he was but I lacked fear. He suspected that I had a secret. The truth was that he served as a convenient outlet for my anger in my last moments of life.

"Breeding project that failed." I lied badly but really, it was none of his business. He laughed.

"Bella, keep him talking. Don't make him angry." The beautiful voice warned me inside. I wanted to sneer at it, but I loved it too much.

"What are you doing here?" I might as well know why he came back here. It might explain why I was about to die. I noted that the rain had slowed and rays of light were breaking in the distance.

"A favour to Victoria. She lost her mate. She wishes to take away Edward's mate. It's an eye for an eye." My breath caught. I wasn't feeling so angry anymore. I was in pain from the ache in my chest and cold from the rain and fear sent icy chills down my back. I fought to regain the bravado that I had been feeling before.

"I didn't kill her mate. I did nothing to her. I'm sure _he_ has a new mate by now. She should be keeping closer tabs on _him_." I spat the words at him.

"I agree with her. You smell delicious. I can't possibly leave you to her to kill you slowly and painfully. You're tantalizing. I will be kind. I will be make it painless and quick child." He said softly. He had made his way to me quietly. _His_ voice screamed and yelled in my ear realizing that death was upon me and nothing could be done about it.

"What about a flame thrower?" I asked. He was right at my throat. He stood as still as a statue. I cocked my head to one side. "I wonder if I could put napalm on a torch. I've heard it burns slowly." I pondered aloud.

"What are you doing?" He asked suspiciously looking around.

"Making plans for my next life." I muttered feeling a little dejected. "I bet if I shoved ammonium nitrate up your ass and triggered it, it would do some damage." I cocked an eyebrow at him folding my arms. It was much easier to face him down suggesting items that could mess him up than focusing on what he was probably about to do to me. He moved in for the kill and I thought _I love you Edward._ But nothing happened.

He looked away from me and gasped.

"It can't be real." He saw something that I couldn't see yet.

I wanted to hit him but his attention was elsewhere, I didn't want to bring it back to me.

I heard two low growls before I saw two giant wolves creeping forward menacingly towards me. I had to remind myself that they were probably after Laurent. I was amazed to watch Laurent turn tail and run. And even more stunned to see the wolves could keep up with him. They were fast.

Again, I felt powerless and frustrated. I should feel grateful. But again, I was being rescued. I watched them each launch themselves over the river. I couldn't launch myself more than a few feet. I headed back to my truck when I couldn't see them through the woods anymore.

If there was ever a next time, I would have an arsenal ready for those monsters. I wasn't going to be a sitting duck.

I came through the front door slamming it behind me and yelled hello to Charlie. He said something that I ignored as I ran upstairs. I turned on my decrepit computer before heading for the shower. When I came back to my room I researched guerrilla warfare and martial arts classes in my area. I was not going to be a victim anymore. It might not work, but I needed to get a sense that I was doing something for my own security.

I hurried downstairs once I had my bag packed for the night and got dinner ready for Charlie. I was still feeling shaky from this afternoon and knew I wouldn't eat. Besides the fact that Charlie wanted to have a talk and I didn't want to. With dinner ready I headed for the door and gave my excuses.

"Bella, we need to talk." Charlie started.

"Sure, sure. I'll hang out with you tomorrow afternoon and we can talk then. Okay?"

"Bella, it's not okay. You're personality is changing. Something is happening to you. Talk to me." He insisted. I opened the front door.

"Not right now okay?" I asked him. He let out a sigh and turned back to his game.

I ran out to the truck and jumped in. I made it a mile down the road when it made a bang sound and the engine cut out on me. I pulled over to the side and huffed. I felt a pull to go and open the hood and look at the engine. But honestly, what was the point? I wouldn't have any idea what I was looking at. I really had pushed the truck too far. I picked up my cell phone.

"Hey Matthew, my truck broke down. Can you help me get a ride out tonight? I'm a mile from my house."

"Hi Bella, of course. Actually, I'm glad I caught you. Leanne called in sick. Can you cover for her at a private party?" My heart felt like ice.

"I'm not that kind of girl."

"And Leanne is?" He laughed. "It's just a bachelor party for a friend. We don't do anything illegal here. I know Giselle's already coached you on these parties." He was trying to reassure me.

"Get someone here and I'll find out the details before I decide okay?"

"Stan is near you, I'll call him. Give him fifteen minutes."

I didn't bother to say goodbye as I ended the call. I thought very carefully about doing this. I had a feeling I would hear _his _voice if I did this. As long as it was only stripping. How much did I trust Matthew?


	5. The Stripping Virgin

**Playing Imprint  
**

The Stripping Virgin

**Bif Naked – October Song**

The bachelor party wasn't so bad. Neelu took pity on me and worked an extra night to join me. It turned out that Gary was behind organizing the entertainment. The place was filled with twenty-something and thirty something men hooting and yelling. I was grateful that Neelu was there. She was fun and playful and confident. I could see why I was asked to cover for Leanne. The outfit was a country girl with daisy dukes and looking almost innocent with my hair in pig tails. It was as per request. Neelu played a bad influence. Which was exactly what she was to me. We worked well together. Probably because she was good at improvising.

"Bella, come sit with us." Gary called me. I looked to see Neelu was chatting with Ian working security for the VIP lounge of the club the bachelor party was happening at. We weren't going anywhere just yet.

"Hi Gary." I greeted him and hopped onto the bar stool.

"This is the bridegroom. Tony, this is Bella. Guess how old she is." In addition to Tony and Gary there was one other man. They each looked to be about thirty.

"She looks sixteen, but she seems pretty confident up there. I'll go with twenty-one. This is dangerous territory you're putting me in Gary." Tony chuckled. I didn't appreciate that they seemed to be talking as if I weren't even there.

"You're not fun, you're pretty close. I'll give you a hint, she's in high school."

"No!" Tony and his friend said incredulously. "Bella tell me you had to repeat a year or two." Tony's friend spoke to me directly.

"I'm on the honour roll." I smiled politely. I didn't really want to talk about this.

"You must be eighteen. What do the guys at school think about this?" I stiffened at the thought.

"No one at school knows. If I don't get the scholarship, this should all just help pay for college." I offered in explanation.

"Smart girl. I only just finished paying student loans." I didn't look up to see who spoke. I was thoroughly embarrassed by this point.

A glass bottle slammed down in front of me.

"Bella drink up." Gary offered and I watched the waitress open the lid on the beer in front of me. I looked to Neelu for rescue.

"Don't be a prude now. Not after that lovely show." Gary teased. I cocked an eyebrow at him before taking the beer in hand and sipping from the bottle.

Time passed quickly as the drinks flowed. Gary assured Neelu and Ian that he would get me home safely.

"Come!" Tony yelled pointing to the dance floor. I suspected it was a double entendre based on his cheeky grin but couldn't be sure. Jungle music burst and Tony started moving me into him at a pace that kept beat but didn't meet every beat. Cheers to the bridegroom from his friends hooted around me. I was feeling loose from the music, so I didn't mind too much. The night wore on and I followed him yet again. I expected to find myself at the bar stool but a loud bang announced the emergency exit door closing behind us. I was startled halfway to sober by that sound.

"Oh God Bella!" Tony crashed me against the wall, his beer laden tongue jammed down my throat and his hands running up and down my body. I pushed him away as hard as I could. He noticed. "I know you've wanted me all night." I jerked away.

"No." I murmured out drunkenly.

"Don't get shy now baby." He pushed my head against the bricks with his face against mine and his tongue prominently in my mouth again.

_Did he just call me baby?_

"Why yes, yes he did." I not only heard but saw Edward standing facing me with a wide grin and his arms crossed. "What are you going to do about it?" I felt rage. This asshole was treating my body like an amusement park, calling me baby and Edward thought it was funny. How funny is this shit? I bit down on the fuckers tongue hard and was satisfied when I drew blood. He yelped and jumped back. I quickly saw his face darken from surprise to fury. He stomped the two steps back to me.

I almost flinched but defiance won out.

"I said no asshole."

"You didn't need to bite me. You fucking whore!" He lisped reaching his hands out to me as though he were going to shake me. I didn't wait to find out what he was going to do to me. I drove my stiletto heel down on his foot intending to drive through shoe, foot and straight down to the concrete. I drove with all my might. I was satisfied with an agonized cry and shoved his face away from me before running.

His friends came out to see what the noise was.

"The bitch skewered me with her pointy heels!" He yelled indignantly. I could hear their reactions. They came running. I knew I couldn't run fast enough in my heels, so I scrambled up a dumpster to a metal fire exit ladder. I got one foot on the ladder and kicked the rolling dumpster as hard as I could at them to buy me a few seconds. I felt proud as I saw them suffer minor injuries at my hands. I saw him turn the corner.

"No means no you stupid fuck!" I yelled down at him. His friends froze on the spot.

"Tony, what did you do?" One asked him. They all eyed him nervously. "Why did she skewer you with her shoe?"

"Sure, side with the hooker."

"Exotic dancer!" I yelled. I could put a prettier name on it than stripper if I wanted to.

His friend fought a smile before speaking to Tony. "You provoked her somehow. She was pretty drunk and she's sobered up some, there must be a reason. She seems well enough now." His friend said warily. "Come back to the club, we'll ask Gary to take you home." He called to me.

"I'll get a taxi!" I yelled.

"That won't be necessary." Gary appeared. "Will you allow me to accompany you home Bella?" He asked politely. I sighed. I was still counting this as the time that I rescued myself. No one swept in and saved the day. I fought back and Tony wasn't able to chase me down. His friends did. I had enough strength to take out an overgrown child throwing a tantrum. I was proud of myself. Gary helped me down, we went back to the club where I drank water and swallowed aspirin. I hoped I broke Tony's foot for the wedding or at least broke skin and muscle with my shoe.

"Where did you tell Jacob you were tonight?" Gary asked during the drive.

"I didn't. He expected me at the club." I continued to watch out the window at the black view and a crescent moon.

"That's why he called then. I let him know you where you were while you were with Neelu. I promised to bring you straight to his place." I didn't like decisions being made without my input.

"I'm going home."

"You're still tipsy, you'll wake your father up." He shrugged indifferently. I reconsidered.

"Okay, Jake's place it is."

"I'm sure you enjoy sharing his bed anyway." I blushed at his insinuation.

"It's not like that." I defended.

"He's a man, for him it is." I squirmed in my seat and Gary changed topics. I gratefully contributed to the new conversation.

When we arrived at Jake's house, he must have heard us coming because he was standing at the door with his arms folded over his chest. He looked so serious. I said goodnight to Gary and carried my bag up the steps. I hadn't changed and it was cold. I gave Jacob a quick twirl and brushed past him into his house. I didn't look to see if it affected him. That sort of thing affected most men I would hazard a guess.

"Can I talk to you Jacob?" I was feeling brave and powerful after the nights events.

"Any time. Want something to drink?"

"Hot chocolate?" I asked. We headed into the kitchen. I knew it was an ungodly hour, but I was brimming with energy. Jacob was boiling water and had prepared powder in mugs before he sat on the counter opposite me.

"Shoot." He said.

"I got to take care of myself tonight. When I get into trouble, I usually get hurt or a man sweeps in to the rescue or I'm rescued and I get hurt. But what hasn't been happening is me taking care of myself. And I got to do that tonight. I want to be able to do more of that. I don't want to get into a relationship and have another man rescuing me. I want to acknowledge the imprint. I don't want to make life hard for you or make you suffer unnecessarily. You seem nice enough.

"I've been thinking about what we could be, without being your girlfriend. I don't want to be strictly yours. I'm going to propose something while I'm feeling brave, you can tell me if you can work with me on it." I felt self-conscious under his intense watch. He nodded to let me know that he was listening.

"I would like your friendship, I feel happier around you. But I don't want the ardent young love that I'm just overcoming from _him_. I need space from that. I have noticed something from working at the club, being wanted. I've been rejected so much, I want to experience being wanted and enjoyed. I've thought very carefully about this. Could we be friends with benefits? If it's a really stupid idea, I'll understand and hopefully we'll never breathe another word of this again." I was now officially rambling. I forced my mouth to closed and finally looked up at him. His mouth was agape.

"Well say something." I said as the kettle finished boiling. I hopped off the counter and poured the hot water.

"My imprint wants to just get in my pants. It's a lot to take in. It's kind of a back-handed compliment here Bells." I didn't look up to see his face but I could hear both hope and hurt in his voice.

"I'm not trying to hurt you here. I'm looking for a better solution than being a coward and picking up and running away from you. But I do feel an attraction to you and I can't simply be friends with you. My body just feels this pull when I'm around you. But you need to be around me often." I admitted refusing to make eye contact. "The truth is that I'm a coward and I'm trying to do right by you while being honest with myself. I'm not ready to date you. But being friends with you is too hard. I'm worried I'd have to avoid you altogether but I'm of the understanding that it's not good for you. Forget I said anything. I can have a platonic relationship with you. I just thought you guys said you could be anything I needed you to be. I'm really sorry I said anything. Pleeease pretend I never brought this up." I was crying in my embarrassment and frustration with myself. And my frustration and tears grew because I was crying again. I wish I didn't do that. Jacob had jumped down off the counter and was standing between my legs pulling me into his arms. He hushed me gently speaking words in a language I didn't understand.

"Bella, you don't need to be sorry. I'm sorry. You're right, I promised to be whatever you needed me to be. I can be this for you. In fact," He held my face in his hands raising my eyes up to meet his as he lowered his to meet mine halfway. "I'm excited at the prospect of getting into your pants too honey." He grinned at me breaking into a laugh. I threw my arms around him and laughed and cried with relief. I hadn't been rejected yet again. He felt so good in my arms, while our bodies shook with mirth.

"Oh God Jake, you had me so worried! I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. _He_ rejected me so many times and then he left me." I stopped suddenly realizing he'd probably want to know what I meant by that.

"I didn't consider saying no I just needed a minute to adjust to the idea. You don't need to tell me what an idiot he was. When he left you like that, it became clear to me then." And then he pressed his lips to mine. His lips were soft, hot and exciting. The world stopped as I was engulfed in Jacob's presence. I no longer had presence of mind to notice the details of how he was kissing me. I was experiencing Jacob as pushed, tugged and pulled me into him. I was lost to the world around me. When he broke away, my eyes were closed and it took me a minute to recover my breathing and to think again.

"So friend, what are the boundaries to these benefits?" He asked. I was sure he was watching my face.

_First, you can't kiss me like that unless I get to ride you until I come. _

It was right on the tip of my tongue with all of the disappointment of the kiss ending so abruptly. But I didn't dare say actually say that.

"The benefits are private. That's the boundary. I understand you can't keep if from your pack. But until, if and when, I'm ready to officially date you, I want this to remain _very_ quiet for now." I held his attention. He nodded solemnly.

"We can add rules if needed. That's the only boundary I know is needed right now. If people found out I was stripping and had a friend with benefits I'd never be able to live in the state of Washington again. I think this officially makes me a slut." I could feel my face flushing.

"At this point, you're and inexperienced virgin who happens to strip. I'd have to disagree with anyone's assessment that called you a slut." My stomach dropped.

"Is it that obvious that I'm a virgin?" My eyes were wide with surprise and he looked at me and laughed.

"No, I wasn't sure but I guess that answers my question! It seemed unlikely because you're working at a strip club. Holy shit Bells! What virgin takes up a job stripping?" Indignation sprung up in me.

"I didn't see any rules anywhere that said that I couldn't strip just because of that." I jumped down off the counter heading for the exit. He pulled me back gently and stopped laughing.

"Come on Bells. I'm just learning about you. So far I know that you dated a vampire and you're sweet, you strip even though you don't enjoy it and don't need the money, you're a virgin and you embarrass easily. I love the crazy way you constantly contradict yourself."

He was starting to annoy me.

"I liked you better when you were kissing me." I grumbled. I had caught him by surprise. But only for a moment.

"Let's learn what the boundaries are for those benefits then huh?" He levelled his eyes at me before pouncing, snatching me up in his arms and kissing me senseless carrying me to his room. I wrapped my legs around his waist and let out a moan realizing he'd been probably been hard this entire conversation. He felt fully erect under his sweat pants. I concluded I would be sure to pay closer attention in future. He put me down on his bed and paused to let his eyes roam my body.

"Maybe we could end one of those contradictions tonight." I suggested. He cocked an eyebrow but asked with sincerity. "Which contradiction is that Bells?" He moved slowly towards me and I felt my breathing return to a pant.

"The stripping virgin." I whispered. He pressed his body to mine.

"Which part? I'd like it if you only stripped for me and you handed over your virginity to me. But it seems like wishful thinking on my part." He caught me by surprise. He nibbled on my ear and I thought as he kissed my neck and his hands explored my body. I could see myself getting wrapped up in his wishes. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to agree to his wishes on both accounts. His lips met mine and I found it difficult to remember what he was asking and what my wishes were. My resolve was slipping and I wanted to give this man myself wholly. No more stripping, have him inside me, to own me and to spend the rest of my life with him. Give him a home with a family and let him provide my security. That would fulfill his breeding imperative.

My resolve returned immediately. I could give him my virginity, but giving up stripping would end hearing _his_ voice. I wouldn't give that much up for my new friend. But really, I wasn't so much looking to give to Jacob so much as taking from him a taste of his strength and beauty and confidence and the comfort that his body provided me so willingly. Having sex with him didn't seem like an act of giving so much as an act of taking.

I found amusement in the idea that he felt I was handing something over to him.

"Jake," I whispered. "I have a lot to offer a man. But I'm only offering one thing to you." I was panting feeling my body respond to him. He stopped, listening intently to what I had to say.

"I'm offering my virginity. I just want you to be clear that there's nothing else on the table."

"Fuck me!" He exclaimed in a whisper.

"That's the idea." I said confused.

"You're offering a lot more than I was expecting." I smiled.

"I'm full of surprises." I smirked glancing down at my daisy dukes and twirling my pig tails.

**AN: sorry about the cliff hanger.**


	6. Let Her Go

**Playing Imprint  
**

**AN: Sorry to be late updating. Big stuff happening at work. Long hours. Hope you enjoy this. I'll be updating my other stories just as soon as I can. **

Let Her Go

**White Stripes – St. James Infirmary Blues**

I strolled confidently up to the after hours club. A night out with the girls was a weekly event. With school and Karate and my new gun hobby, I had quit my job at the club. I had plenty of money saved up from short months working there. It had killed me watching what it did to Jacob working there. But I stopped when I was ready to stop and not because I was controlled or bullied into stopping. Tonight was time for a night out with the girls I had made friends with from when I worked at the club.

As soon as I walked up to the door past the line the bouncer recognized me. Ian from the club had changed employers and waved me by.

"Serena said to tell you on the platform by the far left bar." He spoke into my ear of the music and traffic. I gave him a warm hug and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Ian. And you remember those big Indian boys?" I said throwing a glance out, I could see Paul staring me down from across the street. "Well Paul's here, he's waiting for some more of our friends. Can you let them in? They're good dancers." I threw pleading eyes at him putting my head on his shoulder. He held his arm around my waist shaking his head in dismay.

"Bella you're killing me! Girls like those boys though. How am I supposed to say no to you when you pull that on me?" I chuckled and gave him a shrug.

"Beats me? Don't fight it." I grinned before he ushered me through the door and started arguing with someone who had waited in line. I felt a pang of guilt but then thought, they'd probably do the same thing if they knew the bouncers. I enjoyed the eyes on my now toned legs. I had worked for this strong body and I was proud of it. I wasn't the frail mouse that Edward had abandoned. I had become a strong and beautiful woman. I wore a short silver sequined dress with stilletoes and my long hair in thick lush curls falling down my shoulders. I was still pale, but I didn't feel comfortable with getting a tan. I just didn't think it would suit me.

I hadn't even made it up to the platform when a hand caught my arm and spun me around on the dance floor.

"Paul." I said blandly looking up at him. He sneered at me.

"Hands on my chest where I can them." He said frowning at me. He never forgot the ball grabbing incident. He held my hips against his. I'd hurt him a few too many times and as he wasn't allowed to retaliate, he held me tightly and close whenever we were within close proximity. Such as a club where I couldn't hear him unless I held my ear close to his mouth. We just didn't get along. Admittedly, I preferred the way Edward and Jacob poured their affections on me. But Paul wasn't anywhere near nurturing to anyone.

I held my hands on his chest with a pointed look.

"Coward. A few knocks and you can't handle one human girl." I jeered and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Human girl my ass. You're an evil hellion in a pale faces skin." He narrowed his eyes at me. Sometimes I wondered if really believed that.

"Watch it, I'll find a way out of your babysitting before Jacob gets here." He cocked his head at me.

"You wouldn't want to chase me into the arms of another man would you?" I kicked him in the shin and flashed angry eyes at him.

"Jacob's not coming tonight." He smirked at me. My throat was getting sore yelling over the music. I rolled my eyes him.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Embry has him on detail. Maybe Embry had something in mind? He's coming tonight." Paul liked to play up the issues between Embry and Jacob. Tensions were high between Embry and Jacob. Newly found sibling rivalry caused Embry to flirt with me. Not that he would ever do anything with me. But he enjoyed riling Jacob's weak spot when Jacob called Embry's mother a lying whore. I considered pot shots at Embry's mother low shots and didn't mind Embry's retaliations. I wouldn't take bad mouthing about my mother either. Jacob seemed to see Alpha as his birth right and Embry believed it was his. The pack and elders were split and it seemed as if there would be a fight breaking out between the two of them at any moment.

I hadn't failed to notice the weight lifted off of Sam's shoulders now that I was no longer one of his problems. Even though he was very much a part of running the pack. He seemed to almost like me now. I knew none of the pack liked me. I didn't stay down in La Push for them. I had run out of patience for the red headed bitch that wanted to kill me and refused to pause my life for her. Even though most of the pack had gotten hurt at some point trying to defend me from her. I told them didn't care. Let her come for me. I wouldn't live in fear of her. I wasn't suicidal, but I wouldn't spend my life looking over my shoulder. They didn't appreciate my perspective because they were convinced it would kill Jacob. They'd also gotten upset with my plan to join the army after graduation. They had talked me out of that one. Or at least, I wasn't as convinced it was the best plan.

I had made great strides in my self-defence, my balance had improved a lot and I had managed to take Paul down to the floor using my smaller size to my advantage. Yeah, he had every reason to be nervous around me. I knew how to hurt him and had it in for him.

"Well, if Jacob's not coming, I'm not hanging out with you. Go pick up a troll." I attempted to drive my foot down onto his. He was ready for me and lifted me around his waist. He growled over the music in my ear.

"Don't stomp on my foot." I glared at him.

"Put me down." I threatened him with my voice and eyes. I felt a shiver go through him. I'd been practicing how to look a lot more threatening. It was amusing to intimidate the pack when I didn't really have much hope up against them. He put me down and walked away with a scowl on his face. If I didn't know him, his scowl would be frightening.

Time to see my friends. Serena, Jen and Neelu were waiting for me at the bar getting drinks.

"Bella! Quick, down this!" Jen shoved a green coloured shot at me, I poured it back quickly. Neelu shoved another shot in my hand. I frowned at her and knocked it back. Of course, then Serena had red stubby wide shot glass that she handed me.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Bella! You need to catch up!" Serena whined. I shrugged my shoulders and threw back the shot. Only, it wasn't sweet. It burned.

"Arrrrghgh!" I blanched. "What was that?" I coughed a spluttered.

"Scotch. We'll get some Amarato Sours and we'll get up there." She indicated a platform.

"I'm here to dance, not to have an audience." I yelled over the music at her.

"In that dress? You're here for an audience." A glass I assumed to be my amarato sour was handed to me. I wanted to savour it but they were drinking theirs so quickly I knew I wouldn't have time. I hurried through my drink and followed Neelu's lead. There was no way I could get up there in this dress and look halfway lady like. Serena had already enlisted some frat boys to help us up when I came to this realization.

My knight jumped up onto the stage and lifted me up from the waist slowly lifting me up keeping his eyes locked on mine. He was ballsy. I noted Paul and Quil watching yards away. I cozied up to my new play mate and asked his name. I couldn't hear it over the music. It didn't really matter. I was disgruntled seeing the look on Paul and Quil's faces. It really wasn't their right to tell me who I could dance with. Or anything else for that matter. I hadn't made any promises to anyone since I promised Edward that I wouldn't do anything stupid. I didn't belong to anyone. As a free woman, I didn't answer to Paul and Quil regardless of any wolfy imprint claims over me. I stuck my tongue out at them and swept my butt into my dance partners crotch.

I danced with him all night. The music and lights and alcohol whirling around me like a giant whirlpool that I didn't want to get out of. I didn't have any problems. Just a body that moved with the music at an energetic pace filling me with temporary joy. A warm body pressed against me added to the night, but didn't compete with the sense of the music filling and moving me. I felt inspired and empowered.

The following I found myself in an apartment that was silent save for a clock ticking in the kitchen. I slipped out of the sheets and retrieved scattered clothing from the strangers bedroom. I found my underwear and jean skirt in his room. Near the bathroom was my shirt and cardigan. I took them into his bathroom and cleaned myself up and dressed as quietly as I possibly could. He was fun in bed, but not as good as Jacob. The only problem with Jacob was that he still had the "imprint" and wanted more than just sex. More than "just sex"? The sex was incredible! What more could the big dumb dog want? I was happy with the sex. If Jacob would just back off, we could be friends and just enjoy the sex. It was so annoying. He read way too much into it all. I didn't need more intimacy than that.

I tip toed out of the bathroom and swept my hair into a messy bun. I found my boots by the door and gathered keys and my cell that had fallen out of my purse.

"Hey," A young man's voice said behind me. I cocked an eyebrow and tried to cover a smirk before turning around to look at him. _Damn, there goes my quiet escape._

"Hey," I replied feeling awkward. I shifted from foot to foot. "Last night was fun. Maybe I'll see you around and do this again some time." Should be the response every frat boy hoped for. I wasn't even sure why he acknowledged me leaving. I had no intentions of ever seeing him again let alone spending another night with him. But it just wasn't polite to say that out loud.

I took this one night stand as a fun experience but he wasn't Jacob. He was quite the specimen though. I paused to admire his sparkling cool gray eyes, soft smile and a sweet build. He wouldn't have any difficulty replacing me quickly.

"About that." He grinned walking up to me in his boxers and taking my wrist with my hand holding my car keys. He gently placed his over hand on the keys. He leaned down to kiss my cheek gently. "I wasn't finished. I want you to stay." He looped a finger through a key ring and gently tugged at my keys that I wasn't relinquishing. I pulled my hand away and smiled at him.

"I have exams to study for." He looked confused.

"College exams finished weeks ago." He said.

"I'm in high school. We're not done exams yet." I chuckled. His eyes widened.

"How old are you?" He demanded angrily.

"Eighteen. Now if you don't mind. I have things to do today." He didn't appreciate this information. He looked betrayed. His face set into a determined mould. He slipped between me and the door as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"You don't get to walk out on me little girl." He sneered at me. "I'll tell you when I'm done with you." He grabbed my elbow to pull me back towards his bedroom. _Holy shit! What a douchebag! _I wasn't putting up with any of this. I swung my arm out of his hold before I spun around taking his feet out from under him. He landed on his back and I heard the wind knock out of him. This was my first opportunity to see my martial arts classes put into practical use.

"Fuck you! Crawl back in the hole you came from!" I screamed him as I kicked him in the stomach. I was turning to storm out of the apartment when the door crashed open. Jared's chest was heaving and he looked between me and gray eyes filled with rage.

"You don't need to babysit me." The creep was rolling on the floor. "I took care of it." He was calling me vile names as I walked away.

"Shut up before I rip your arms off and beat you with them." I yelled over my shoulder.

Jared shrugged and quickly raced to head me off. "What did he do and what did you do?" He stopped me before the elevator.

I frowned. "If I tell you, you can't go back do anything to him. I'm quite proud of myself for doing this on my own."

"You don't think I can promise that." Jared chuckled.

"I'll help the loser press charges against you then." I caught him off guard before continuing. "I was about to leave after politely saying my goodbyes when he said he wasn't "done with me" and thought he was going to drag me back to his room. I took him down and kicked him in the stomach. Stupid fucker. Can we go now?" I dodged around him as he seemed confused what do.

"Jacob would want a lot worse to happen to- What's his name?" He asked.

"Gray-eyes." I shrugged.

"You slept with him. You don't know his name?" Jared sounded angry.

"I couldn't hear him over the music. He has very pretty eyes though." I bit back a laugh and walked away.

"Thank God Kim is nothing like you." Jared muttered shaking in the elevator next to me.

"I dated a vampire. Wolves shouldn't be imprinting on me in the first place." I growled at him. "Anyway, he wasn't as fun as Jacob. I think I'll stick with Jacob in future."

Jared glared at me before he dropped his forehead against the elevator wall. "Is nothing sacred to you Bella?" I thought about his question.

"Like what? You mean churches and shit?" I asked. I knew exactly what he meant. I just refused to acknowledge it. I wasn't going to be the softy left to cry in the woods alone again.

"Can't you feel the imprint at all? No connection to Jacob at all?" I wanted to entirely deny it but didn't have the heart to crush Jacob who I knew would probably hear about this later.

"I would have said no. But after tonight, sex is very different with Jacob. I didn't know that I wouldn't feel that connection with someone else." I admitted as the elevator door opened and I walked away. I hoped that admittance didn't come back later to bite me in the ass.

"Bella! Where the hell have you been?" Charlie yelled at me as I walked through the door.

I looked at him considering a truthful but painless answer. I still cared about him, but I was scared of disappointing him anymore. He had no idea that I had been stripping. I doubted there was much left that could disappoint him more whether he knew about it or not. I didn't have a kind answer for him.

"You won't like the truth. But if it makes you feel better, I don't plan on doing it again." I smiled weakly for him. His face turned red and he started to shake with anger.

"Get to your room now!" He bellowed. I almost wanted to open up my knee length coat and flash my sequined dress at him. I knew that wasn't very mature of me and headed up the stairs sullenly.

In my room I realized I shouldn't have said anything that would give the pack hope. They really should be letting me go. I should have lied and said that I was planning on having another one night stand. But I wasn't the best liar and I was too selfish to give up Jacob entirely. Imprint was just another word for soul mate. Edward was my soul mate and he abandoned me. Seven months ago. I could think and say his name finally. It hurt every time. I braced myself for the pain every time. But I was stronger. I could take the pain now. I wasn't such a coward anymore.

These thoughts wouldn't help me study, so I put them aside and settled my focus on my books. I spent the next three hours studying when a knock came on my bedroom door.

"Yeah." I called out.

"Jacob's here. I'm downstairs, leave the door open." Charlie wasn't convinced out relationship was platonic but liked Jacob.

"It's open Jake." The door swung open and he stood there observing me.

I was laying on the bed on my stomach swinging my crossed ankles above me. My books were open out on the bed. I wasn't entirely sure I was garnering anything from them anymore at this point. I could see he wasn't impressed with me by the look on his face.

"Hey." I said hoping to lighten the tension in the room. It didn't work as he didn't reply at first. He looked around the room as though he were looking for someone.

"I'm sorry, there aren't any nameless pretty boy gray-eyed rapists hiding in here are there? I wouldn't want to disturb him." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you have any sense of self-preservation? He could have been a psycho." He stalked towards me. I backed up on the bed as the hairs on my neck raised.

"Rapist?" I scoffed. "I slept with him willingly." I didn't need him blowing this out of proportion. I was still going out where I wanted, when I wanted and with whoever I wanted.

"So in the morning he didn't try to drag you back to his room and you didn't take him down?" He had made his way up my bed and I was now pressed back against my headboard having a hard time remembering to breathe. I couldn't tell if I was intimidated or turned on. Hell, I was both. And he'd had way too much control over this conversation.

"I felt a little threatened. I took care of the problem just fine all by myself." I shoved him away from me and stomped away to hold the door open. "I have exams to study for if I want to graduate. I suggest you let me get to work." I knew he was hurting, but I held strong. He was a big boy and I never let him think that we were exclusive. Just because it had only been in theory for him before didn't change the facts.

"I don't like you sleeping with strange men." He squinted at me. I bit back a shudder. Once I had collected myself again I spoke.

"If you don't like it, you can move onto someone else. Am I free to date who I want to or not?" I challenged him. He looked like he was choking for a moment but regained his composure and stepped into my space.

"You admitted it wasn't worth it. When are you going to admit that you would be happy with me and not just keeping me as a sleazy fuck buddy?" He spat out at me. I winced when he called it that. He really did make me feel dirty when he said that. "This isn't you. There's more to you than this. I know that. You can't hide from me." My eyes were burning but I'd be damned before the day he made me break down in tears.

"Admit it, imprints are bullshit and you've attached yourself to the most superficial woman you could find in the area. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on to a girl who deserves you!" Well, that was more open and honest than I meant to be. We stared at each other. Usually I just played a complete bitch. I hadn't acknowledged any of that stuff before.

Jacob's eyes changed to adoration. "But when you're being yourself you are that girl! You don't need to be this girl." He gestured at the sequin dress hanging off a chair. He looked down at my shorts and tank top with a sweet smile.

"We're one and the same. You wish the bitch would go away. She's as much a part of me as the girl who moved to Forks. If you only love the girl that you so rarely see, then you don't actually love me. Now get out!" I growled. We stood toe to toe furiously. Both of us breathing heavily. He didn't make a motion to leave.

"You didn't complain about our sleazy arrangement when we first hooked up." I spat. "I'd say it's as much your fault as it is mine." I dropped my eyes and watched the floor waiting for him to leave.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity when he finally left. I fought tears. If someone was outside listening, they'd probably hear me. I wouldn't let him know that this conversation had hurt me that much. We weren't an imprint or team or couple. I'd make sure he got that through his head. He really needed to let me go.


	7. Reap What You Sow

**Playing Imprint **

Reap What You Sow

**Lou Reed – Perfect Day**

I made up a meal for me and Charlie. But I felt out of my body and just distant from the moment. I sat on the front porch watching the rain while I was deep in thought. I didn't stop and think very often. I was scared of what realizations I would have. But it seemed too hard to avoid today. I'd been fighting the need to stop and think since Jacob left my room. I used to think all of the time. I was slow and deliberate and thought things through before Edward left. Now, I rarely sat still. I kept myself busy. I didn't have to face myself when I was busy. But things were changing between me and Jacob. There had to be a way to fight the imprint without breaking him. The sex and connection with Jacob that I hadn't realized before I slept with gray eyes, had fed me a small steady diet of security that had just barely managed to keep my emotional void from screaming at me. All of my hurts, feelings and underlying thoughts were kept at bay with sex and Jacob was paying for it. But if it changed, I would have to risk getting hurt again. I'd have to feel again. I was a small tug boat that was pulling an ocean liner behind me. That ocean liner was my baggage and I was sure that if I tried to take on all the people and cargo from the ocean liner, I would sink. But maybe I was looking at this the wrong way. Maybe Jacob was the ocean liner and I was leading him over a waterfall? To destruction? I shuddered at the thought. There were so many horrific possibilities with that analogy that I shuddered to consider it furth so I pushed it aside.

Usually when I hurt Jacob, I could reason back to the facts. I do not in fact belong to him. He agreed to our friendship with sex on the side. The imprint was supposed to be about him making me happy. I didn't want a romantic relationship with anyone. So this arrangement should make me happy. If the imprint is about making me happy, why wasn't this arrangement working?

_Because I'm not happy. _

The thought was so loud in my mind that it came at me like a megaphone. The truth was that the imprint or Jacob or both, knew what I really needed. What I needed was something I was too cowardly to deal with. I had grown stronger and colder. It was hard to get close enough to hurt me now. Everyone was at arms length. Only during sex with Jacob did I allow myself to open up. Not just physically. I let him make love to me. I found out what 'just sex' was last night. And it wasn't what I was having with Jacob. Why did Jacob and the imprint push for more than sex? Because while I thought I wanted just sex, it wasn't making me happy. I wasn't fooling anyone.

I was brave enough to face James, Laurent and Tony. But was I brave enough to face feelings? _Fuck no! _Not yet at least. Was I ready to talk to Jacob openly yet? He deserved to know the truth. I had been using him all of this time. I should at the very least apologize to him. Maybe we could have our very first open and honest conversation. And maybe I could tear my heart out and dance a jig on it while I was at it? _SHIT! _Tears were already burning my eyes. I heard a gut wrenching sob that I knew would streak my make-up. I stood and shook myself. Then held my hands against the wall and braced myself. I fought shaky breaths and remembered the wolves were taking shifts watching my house for Victoria. The odds were good that they were witnessing my weakness. Talking to Jacob would expose the details of my selfishness, cowardliness and weakness. I groaned at the thought.

This was all too much for me. I wasn't ready for this but I was trapped here. I was expected to make Jacob happy. When did I choose Jacob? I hardly knew him. I woke up out of my depression, started working at the club and then he had just inserted himself into my life. I knew how fantastic he was in bed and how I felt connected to him after my experience with Gray Eyes. But he didn't own me. I was free to come and go as I pleased. I had had enough of being watched while they listened to my meltdown. I should have privacy for moments like this. I was NEVER alone. I looked to the woods and spoke knowing they could hear me.

"I'm taking a drive and you are not going to follow. None of the pack will follow me. Show yourself, I need to know you hear me." That's when I saw Seth's wolf coming out of the trees whining pathetically. He quickly turned and ran into the trees. I headed to my Honda Civic that I had purchased to replace the truck when he appeared in front of me wearing jeans. You'd never know he was fourteen years old. He looked eighteen.

"Please Bella. You know Victoria will come the one time you are without protection." He pleaded with me.  
"I've been out alone and she hasn't caught me before. I can't live with an audience the rest of my life. And maybe, I should be taking care of myself." He looked at me like I was crazy.  
"You're going to defend yourself against a vampire Bella? You're entirely human. You can't."  
I had some secrets. I'd been researching and wasn't defenceless. If Victoria came for me, I wasn't going down without a fight. I looked Seth in the eye.  
"Fucking try me. I'm not useless. I don't need to be babysat at all times. You will not follow me." I insisted.  
"If you die, you will kill Jacob." He said sternly with an exasperated tone.

"If I stay, you will smother me to death." I was serious. I wasn't going to go far today. Just a couple of hours driving in solitude. Maybe a walk. But it was time to leave Forks permanently in the next few days. I climbed into the car. "Do not follow me." I ordered. Seth looked torn and as if he was going to cry. I felt pity for him but I couldn't do this anymore. I was feeling trapped and I was hurting those around me. I was supposed to have a choice. Well my choice right now was to be alone. Maybe I could think without worrying about wolves watching me cry like a pathetic, helpless girl. I should be able to cry like the pathetic, helpless little girl I was without anyone else knowing.

I drove away realizing that I hadn't said anything to Charlie. I'd be back soon enough. I drove out of Forks. I stopped paying attention to where I was. My thoughts raced through the last year. I had gone from independent young woman to clingy dependent girlfriend, to zombie emo girl, to stripper, to cold hag.

I was driving through mountains when my stomach dropped. My headlights shone on Victoria with her wild red hair. I slammed on the breaks while I reached for my gun in the glove compartment. My hand paused to undo my seatbelt. My eyes didn't leave hers. We stared at each other. I let her see the gun, there were more loaded guns in the glove box. She laughed at me. As if a gun could stop her. I knew she wanted to torture me. She wouldn't kill me instantly and that should buy me some time. I put on the hand break and nodded at her.

"Victoria, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I don't hate you. I just think you need a personality adjustment, a new wardrobe and cosmetic surgery." I said noticing my window was open. I didn't want to shoot her through the windshield. I'd wait for her to come around. I only had so many rounds and I wanted to make them count.

"I was thinking of you today, Bella. I also threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence." I snorted. As if a vampire would throw up. She swung her hips confidently as she paced towards me with a dark smile. I wanted to shake and wet myself with fear. But that wouldn't help me. I wouldn't want someone to find my body after I wet myself. _Bad decisions make good stories._ I told myself while my inner critic snorted that I would never live through this. _Focus Bella! Focus on the target._

I held my gun as I had practiced prepared to fire on her. She began to circle the car towards the driver's side door. My gun followed her ready for the moment I could aim through the open window and squeeze the trigger. She paused.

"I have personal space issues Victoria. And a flame thrower." I said with malice. Well, not yet. I was in the middle of trying to get one through illegal channels. But she didn't know that. She flinched.

"Jamie boy loved fire didn't he cum dumpster?" She made a strange choking sound. The look on her face made me wonder if I wanted to wet myself or shit myself. She moved one more foot to her right and I emptied my semi-automatic in to her before grabbing the next gun. I had slowed her down to have enough time to get it. I saw confusion and pain twist her face as she ripped me out of the window and threw me against a tree.

"What the fuck was that?" She screamed at me. The holes in her chest had smoke emitting from them and weren't healing instantaneously. She looked horrified.

I grinned realizing through my own pain that I'd managed to hang onto my second gun and that the rounds were effective on her. I struggled to stand and emptied the gun into her heading back to the car for another loaded gun and pick up some more rounds. She screeched.

"We can't all be the princess... someone has to sit on the curb and wave as i go by!" I said as I passed her. I bent into the car and pulled out what I needed. She was bent over herself making an unworldly cry. I wasn't about to share how Gary had been kind enough to help me out with finding someone who could help me manufacture bullets that would burst into flames and spill acid on impact. Gary was awesome. He thought my pet project was strange and funny and dark and didn't ask questions. I'd never understand him, but he was a good friend. I also hadn't told the pack. They thought I was useless and most of them outright hated me. I had loaded my gun and put the third gun in the back of my pants as I pointed my gun at her. I shot her in the face at point blank range aiming for her eyes. She shrieked.

I reached for more bullets when she reached out and bashed my head against the roof of the car.

* * *

I woke up to quiet ringing in my ears and vertigo. Light pressed against my eyelids. I fought to open my eyes. Blurry images attacked me and I quickly slammed my eyes closed again. I shook my head and my whole body went too far. Hands caught me. My balance was gone. I still only heard quiet ringing.

I pushed against the bed and it was brought up to a sitting position as I could feel the electronically powered motor move it up. My eyes opened again and my eyes better adjusted to the lights and images this time. Slowly faces came into focus. Charlie, Jacob and Edward were in a hospital room. A blinding headache stunned me and grabbed my head. It was bandaged. My eyes jammed closed again.  
My ears continued to ring. I curled into a ball and felt my body wrack with sobs that I couldn't hear.  
Soon, the pain was over and I lulled back to sleep.

* * *

I woke again to darkness and silence. The room was dim and empty. I saw hospital equipment attached to me. A machine that I recognized tracked my heartbeat. I felt drugged. I reached to pull the equipment off of me but my hand barely lifted. I gave up and let sleep overtake me again.

* * *

Light pressed against my eyelids pushing for consciousness. I obeyed and slowly took in my surroundings. The room was silent still and I felt a small ache in my head. I was still on drugs but they weren't as strong as the night I recalled. I shifted in the bed to look around and was struck with vertigo. I wanted to be sick. Charlie and Jacob stood to my left and Edward and Carlisle stood to my right. I noticed lips moving. They must have seen my confusion. They looked at each other and spoke more rapidly. They looked scared and soon I felt scared. My bed moved into a sitting position again.

When was the last time I had heard anything? I focused on my dry throat and tried to push up sound and hoped I was forming the word I wanted to form.

"Sound?" I put my hands to my ears. Carlisle had a clipboard and scribbled quickly before handing it and a pen to me.

As I focused on the paper, I could read it, but the strain made my vertigo and nausea grow.

_You can't hear? Any other symptoms?_

He wrote in elegant handwriting. I wrote below him in my scrawl.

_Nausea _

_Vertigo _

_Small headache_

_Can't tell if I'm making words anyone can understand._

I handed the clipboard back to him. I could see Jacob and Edward arguing back and forth. It made me want to cry. Why was Edward here? And why were they arguing? Why wouldn't they both go away and leave me alone? I watched Charlie's face as he told them off and I could feel the triumphant look on my face. Charlie at least knew me well enough to tell them off for me.

_Bad decisions make good stories._ I repeated the mantra to myself. It didn't seem like a very good story right now. None of my bad decisions were taking me anywhere good. Charlie handed the clipboard to me. Everything was happening so fast without the audio clues, I didn't know where to be looking. It felt like the clipboard had appeared out of nowhere from Charlie's side of the bed. I read his large bold letters.

_Are you hungry or thirsty? Do you have questions?_

I felt defeated. Conversing through a clipboard was a lot of work. It hurt my head.

_Reading and writing hurts._ I scribbled shoving the clipboard back to him. I saw them talking between each other. I wished I could read lips. I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, confused and a little scared. I noticed how dry my mouth was now. He was right. I was thirsty. I tried to push the word out.

"Water?" They all stopped and looked at me confused. I must not have said it right. I mimed tipping a cup to my lips. I saw understanding reach their face. Carlisle talked and no one made a movement to leave the room to fetch me water. I was annoyed. I decided no one understood. I reached for the clipboard. Charlie handed them over.

_Water_

I wrote. Charlie nodded and patted my hand. I felt a frown on my face as no one moved to get me water. _What the hell?_ I thought to myself.

A nurse appeared at my side out of nowhere handing me a cup of orange liquid. What was that? Pedialite? I shrugged and drank it back. She began to examine me.

The silence was becoming overbearing. Who even knew what threats I was facing? I couldn't watch in every direction at the same time. They were talking over me again. As if I wasn't there. Except for Jacob. He was watching me. He spoke occasionally but his eyes returned to rest on me. We stared at each other. I hadn't realized until that moment all of the fear and anxiety that had been building up in me so strongly. It all just hit me at once. Victoria almost killed me! I could feel the ugly cry expression pull on my face and felt snot and tears build up before they fell. I didn't take my eyes off Jacob. I couldn't form the words, but I wanted him now. He understood and came to me. I tried my hardest through my tears to say the most important word I could think of.

"Sorry." His strong and hot arms embraced me. I cried into his shoulder feeling my body shake. I tried to say it again in case he didn't understand me the first time.

"Sorry." I felt vibrations from his chest and I expected it was his base voice replying three syllables. I hoped he was saying _"it's okay."_ But I had no way of knowing. It suddenly struck me that the last time he was in a hospital like this, his mother was dead and his father was paralyzed from the waist down. I was important to him and I had put him through that trauma all over again? I felt like the worst person in the world. What had he been through? I cried harder as I realized how selfish I was.

"Sorry." I said yet again. I wished I could take it all back. His chest vibrated against me with more words that I couldn't hear or understand. I couldn't see through my tears and I couldn't hear. The outside world was shut out and all I knew was Jacob. I wouldn't have known how cold I was but I enjoyed how much he warmed me. I wished I wasn't doing the ugly cry in front of him. I enjoyed his scent, his heartbeat against me, the feel of his body and his hands rubbing soothingly over my bare back. I felt like a small child in his arms. I felt cold air over my back and knew that I was naked down my back from the hospital gown and that I was attached to a catheter. I felt a blush but didn't care enough to pull away. I needed Jacob to hold me. Even if it wasn't pretty.


	8. Peaceful Oblivion

**Playing Imprint **

Peaceful Oblivion

**The Cranberries – Empty**

The lump in my throat was growing and choking me. I was so frustrated! Why didn't I get this already? I wanted to hit her. She hadn't done anything wrong and I kept reminding myself of that fact. But it felt like we had been working on this for an eternity and it really hadn't been that long. Then Doreen shook her head at me repeating the sentence annunciating clearly for my benefit.

I caught a glimpse of Jacob standing in the doorway. A smile lit our faces until her hand waved me back to her lips. She was firm but kind as she continued to talk to me. I tried to watch her lips carefully again as her lesson continued. Frustration and hurt was building again. I felt a vibration in my chest and throat telling me that my voice was making a noise. My voice was probably betraying my feelings although I couldn't know what type of sound I was making. When I frowned at her displaying my confusion again, she paused and considered something. Then I recognized her lips repeat a line she had said a few times before.

'_Can I teach you sign language yet?' _

'_No!' _

My throat forced out. I sensed that had come out more naturally. One of the first words a child learns, I was pretty sure I could nail that word. In fact, I had probably just yelled.

'_Very good!' _

I rolled my eyes. I had heard a ten month old say no before. It really wasn't an accomplishment. I was tired and frustrated. I thought that after the surgery my hearing would be back. No one had promised me any such thing. But I had expected it. As more likely expected my vertigo had been much improved though. I once stood on a see-through glass platform at the Grand Canyon. Even though I knew that I was standing on solid ground, I felt like I was falling looking down through the glass below my feet. That had been how it felt before the surgery. I should be grateful. But I was so disappointed about my hearing.

Doreen was talking again but I'd completely lost the last of my patience. I felt vulnerable and stupid and frustrated and strangely enough ashamed.

'_Fuck you_.'

I forced out as best I could and flipped my middle finger at her for good measure for her efforts. She frowned, closed up her binders and walked out with only a cocked eyebrow. Doreen must have been a saint in another life. I wanted someone to blow up and yell back at me. I watched her talk to Jacob at the door. He nodded and replied seriously. I couldn't see his lips from where he was half turned away from me. I probably only would have figured out a couple of words anyway. Not enough to figure out what he was saying.

He sauntered over to me and sat down on the edge of my bed wearing a snug fitting black t-shirt, muddy loose dark jeans and running shoes. He wagged his finger at me and gave me a disapproving look. It was partially comical but mostly reprimanding my behaviour towards Doreen. A part of me almost shrank back from his disapproval. But I glared back at him the rage still burning strong enough to cover the tears threatening to overwhelm me. His signature white smile replaced his disapproval as he softened the blow that had been the frustrating past forty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes of my miserable failure to communicate with another being as she tried to teach me to converse in a conversation like manner. I was becoming ever more reliant on body language and facial expressions and gestures. I was just your regular cavewoman over here. I would catch myself making noises from my throat that I could only assume were grunts.

I had never paid much attention to body language before, but the wolves and vampires seemed to be the most expressive passing on thoughts and ideas with me. I suppose they worked off of instincts and used body language to communicate a great deal already. I found I was more expressive in my own body language now that I couldn't express my mood with the tone of my voice or choice of words so easily.

My worst visit so far had been Jessica. She seemed to equate deaf with brain damaged. I was now thinking that maybe she was in fact brain damaged herself. The bitch had upset me. I had wanted to beat her into a bloody pulp for her pity and stupidity. Other people seemed to realize I couldn't attempt to communicate unless they kept their lips where I could see them or wrote it down. She kept facing other people when she talked and then had the nerve to show me pity when I didn't have a clue what she just told me. Mike had to drag her out because I was pulling machines along with me trying to get a hold her neck. Yes, I was more aggressive these days. Mike seemed to understand.

Neelu was right. I needed to go somewhere. Do something. As soon as I was finished healing, I would travel with her. Maybe I might find some meaning. Victoria was dead now. I didn't have to watch over my shoulder. It was the only improvement. I thought I would feel better when Edward returned. He only came because he thought Victoria had killed me. He pitied me for my moral standings after stripping and my relationship with Jacob and because I was deaf. I could see it in his eyes, I was Ophelia from Hamlet. The fragile victim who had self destructed. As much as I hated Jacob's wolf claim on me, he saw me the same way he had always seen me even if he had barely known me before imprinting. Of course, he had adjusted communicating with me since I lost my hearing. But he didn't have a look in his eyes that said fragile or tragic. He adored me, but he saw me as a capable woman whether I could hear or not.

Jacob tapped the back of his wrist like an imaginary watch and stood up collecting my bags. I climbed out of bed to put my shoes and socks on. I was getting discharged today. Jacob caught my eye to tell me something.

_Bonfire, tonight. Sex?_

He wanted sex at the bonfire tonight?

_Sex at bonfire?_

I tried to ask focusing on pushing noise through my throat. I didn't want sex up on the cliff. He threw his head back, I could see he was laughing hard. I frowned. It wasn't that funny. I folded my arms and pouted. He eventually managed to calm down long enough hold up six fingers and point to the clock on the wall. Realizing my mistake I felt a blush. Six not sex. I felt hot tears spring to my eyes because I felt like such an idiot. I felt like an idiot a lot of the time when I failed to communicate properly. The all too familiar lump in my throat was choked me and I wanted to hurt him. Then came the shame. He didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't want to hurt him. I tried to hide my reactions from him when I realized he had been watching all of these emotions cross my face. This wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last time this sort of thing happened. I would need a thicker skin.

He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his breath on the top of my head. I could feel him talking. It would have been nice to know what he was saying. I was starting to feel like I was in silent movies. An act would play before me while I tried to piece together what was happening. Except that in a silent movie, words would come up on the screen and explain what was happening periodically.

Carlisle came in just then and tried to talk to me. I was still cooling off over the 'six and sex' so I wasn't able to follow his lips. Carlisle and Jacob continued to talk and then Carlisle gave me a warm smile before leaving.

Jacob tugged on my arm indicating I had the go ahead to leave. My hand absentmindedly touched my bandages from my surgery. I wondered what my balance would be like by the time I was off my meds.

There dishes already made and covered for me when I came home. People from Forks and La Push had sent meals around for us. So making a late lunch or early dinner for Charlie was simply a matter of reheating casserole. Charlie tried to make small talk at the table. But I wasn't in the mood for that struggle. He finally wrote down on my white board that Jake called and said that he would be here at six.

I shook my head. I wasn't going. It was hard enough to figure out what was happening with one person talking to me. The bonfire sounded like a nightmare the more I thought about it and I was just so tired. The meds still made me feel a little high. I had lots of good excuses but the truth was that I wanted to stay at home and sulk.

Charlie disapproved. I watched his mouth and it wasn't hard to read because I knew exactly what he was about to say.

'_You call him then.'_

I wanted to scream in frustration. He grinned out of the side of his mouth as he tilted his head down so it would be harder to see his face. I wasn't going to win this argument.

I watched him finish his meal and leave the room. I thought about my cell phone that I hadn't been home to pay the bill for while in hospital and forgotten all about. I couldn't text Jacob. I thought about instant messaging to him but he rarely went on computers. Half the time he didn't carry his cell phone on him because he forgot to charge it. It was hard to get a hold of that boy.

I went into the backyard and wondered what to do. Victoria was gone. I didn't have a werewolf in my backyard at all times as my personal body guard. Besides, how would I get their attention without alerting Charlie? I couldn't tell how loud I was. I choked back tears and stormed up to my room to get ready.

I wore leggings and a very short dress with a warm hooded sweater. My stomach was a little off from liquid diets from the hospital, I didn't want anything to press too hard on my abdomen like jeans. The only matching shoes were bamboo flip flops. I sat on the stairs awaiting Jacob's arrival as I didn't want him to come up to my room to get me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and didn't bother to look up. I saw his shoes and knew it was Jacob. I watched the floor more these days. It was any easy way to block out the world and I learned who owned what shoes. He held my elbow as I walked to the rabbit. Truthfully my balance coming out of the hospital even without the vertigo that I knew I needed the help that people offered whenever I started walking. It only reinforced the sense that I was an invalid. As I got better, I was determined that I wouldn't need help soon.

I didn't look at Jacob the whole way to the bonfire and so there was no communication.

He pulled up at the bonfire and met me as I came out of the car. I always made efforts to be out of the vehicles before someone could hold the door open for me. He led me to the large group eating away at mounds of food. I felt a little sick. The smell of all the cooking meat and the idea of swallowing it back made me feel ill. Jacob caught the look on my face.

'_No meat.'_

I said shakily. He seemed to understand me. He led me to a bench next to Kim and left me there. She smiled at me shyly. I gave her a polite smile but looked at the ocean. I sensed something behind me. I looked back and there was a wall of pack boys standing in a circle talking. I jumped in surprise and felt a whoosh of air and vibration through my throat. People turned and stared at me. I must have screamed.

'_Sorry.'_

I tried to say as I bowed my head. I would have preferred to give them the finger and tell them to sit on it and rotate. But they're big and intimidating and I was just feeling too small right now. The gathering moved too much. There was too much happening for me to watch and I was without my audio clues. Then there was the smell of cooking meat while my stomach was being annoyingly sensitive. I wanted to go home.

This was my first bonfire with the pack. I was grateful to see Billy there. While I felt like an invalid, he was an invalid. There had to be a better word than invalid. I hadn't stopped to think about how these words really sounded before. Handicapped, invalid, disabled. None of these names expressed how I wanted to see myself or Billy.

A plate of food dropped in front of me. Salad, jacket potato and corn on the cob. The potato was probably too heavy. Soup would have been a better idea. I wanted to go home and sleep. I focused on my plate and began to eat even though my appetite was weak.

Soon enough Jacob tapped my shoulder and held me against me as he led me to a log at the bonfire. Everyone was gathering. I stared at feet. Shoes weren't as overwhelming as people. As everyone settled I watched the fire and soon their eyes were watching Billy talking. I didn't attempt to watch his mouth. I watched the audience and how the firelight and shadows danced on their beautiful faces. They were beautiful. As the flames licked the logs, the light danced and twisted and turned under the night sky. I felt sleepiness setting in.

I dropped my head in Jacob's lap and he stroked my hair. I closed my eyes but my lack of balance struck and I felt myself falling off the log. Jacob instantly gathered me up in a ball on his lap and held me close in his arms. I didn't care what others saw. I pushed to dangle my feet and settled in against his warm chest.

The world had been chaotic and hurtful in the past weeks. But suddenly everything slowed down in this moment to blissful peace. Peace that I desperately needed. I felt calm and all of the hurt I had shoved down from Edward leaving, men asking me to sleep with them for money at the club, Tony, Laurent, Victoria, my secrets, my shame, my self-doubt, my hearing loss, my fear, my pain, my sorrow seemed to crash over me and I felt as though the heat from the flames were burning it all away. Cleansing me. I felt a wretched sob and for the first time, I let it. I knew there was an audience. I didn't care what they thought. It was already coming and in this moment, I didn't care that people would see that I was hurting. I was running out of anger to keep me going. I hated that Jacob and everyone would see how weak I was. But this felt like freeing. I clung to Jacob and I felt him try to sooth me. I hoped I wasn't too loud.

I sensed I was getting worse and I tried to reign it in. But those floodgates had already been released. My entire body was wracked with tears. I could feel Jacob lifting me up and taking me somewhere. I clung to him tighter.

'_Not home.'_

I struggled out and kept repeating. I didn't want to be alone in my room crying like this. I didn't want Charlie to see my like this too. In Jacob's arms, there was peace. I wanted to stay there. Jacob left me on his bed and my tears came harder and more desperate as I expected he'd had enough and put me down. He was probably going back to the bonfire. I did notice that he had left me on his bed. That was better than at my house. He came back and helped me change into a pair of his boxers and an old t-shirt. He curled up with me on his bed and I felt protected. He had tried so hard to protect me from all of this. But I broke myself. Was there any hope for me? I didn't focus on that thought for long. I was too scared of the answer.

His warm hands caressed my body and it felt soothing. It wasn't in the least bit sexual. I was so used to be approached in a sexual way, that this came as a surprise to me. He wasn't interested in having sex with me. He just curled around me defensively. This was exactly what I needed. My tears continued to come but more softly now. Exhaustion overwhelmed me and I slowly fell into a blissful peace in oblivion.

Darkness came down and I welcomed it. I could sense dreamless sleep coming and my tears begin to fall away. My heavy chest lightened and I began to feel free. Was that what I had need all of this time? It had been more than a year since I had last allowed myself to cry. I should have done this sooner.


	9. Hot And Fast

**I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.**

**Playing Imprint **

**Hot And Fast **

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

It was black outside still and there was no sign of the sun coming up. Jacob was gone. I felt moisture in the air. It was probably raining. I wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear rain and music and -. I was interrupted by a flash of light from the window. Did someone have a flashlight outside? I looked out the window to see what that was. But there was nothing. I got up and headed for the door and saw light flash in Jacob's room again.

I cautiously left the room and walked out to the porch to see where the flashes of light were coming from. As I opened the door a gale of wind whipped at me, carrying cold rain. I pulled the door closed behind me feeling the cold wind and rain pelt my skin. It was refreshing. After numbness and pain and fear, this was an angry symphony coming down on me. I stepped out from under the porch cover and the full force of the rain beat down on me. I experienced it fully. I saw lightening strike a tree a few meters from me. A flash of flame ignited before being snuffed out as the top of the tree crashed to the ground. I felt a small vibration below me when it struck. The storm had to be above me then. My heart beat out of my chest.

I felt alive again. Victoria had met me face on, I had fought back and I was still alive. I hadn't succeeded alone. But I was sure I had defended myself better than any other human had ever done. I wasn't useless. I was strong. And because I was strong, I would find a way to live without my hearing. A smile sprung to my lips. I was going to be okay. I was going to live. I was going to feel good again. My skin was beginning to feel raw and it was reaffirming. If I could still feel pain like this, I could still feel pleasure. I would feel a good many things. Like Jacob.

Lightning stuck again, making my heart race and a tingle trace through me. It was beautiful! My breath was lost in it's power and beauty. I had focused so much of my energy pushing away feelings for Jacob and Edward. Pushing possible away pain. That made me a coward. I wasn't going to be a coward anymore. I would face the imprint. I was told it would bring me happiness. Last night Jacob and the imprint had brought me so much comfort. My smile grew into a goofy grin and I spun around in the rain happily feeling the wind whip around me, my heavy cold wet clothes clung to me.

I had accepted all that Jacob had given me last night. It wasn't just physically holding me. There was a life force that he had shared. I felt whispers of it during sex before, but cut the circuit. Last night it had flowed back and forth between us freely. It had only flowed from him to me before. I hadn't opened up to anything more before. I jumped when a bolt of lightening struck only a matter of feet from me. I knew I should go inside, but it was awe inspiring.

I watched with rapt attention, my thoughts were clear and eloquent. He had imprinted on me In February. It was now August. I hadn't realized I was fighting it. A part of me had wanted to slowly fall apart after Edward had left me. A part of me wanted to experience him again. But at the hospital, his presence had been empty. I loved the memory of him. But he had hurt me too much and viewed me too pathetically to want him anymore. I watched lightening strike over the house and felt a shiver run through my body. I couldn't tell if it was the cold or fear. But strangely, I liked it. I had said I hated the cold and wet. But Jacob would warm me again. I could revel in it knowing that I had Jacob to hold me later. I felt a prick of fear knowing how much I needed him and that he had so much power over me. But he would never hurt me. I had actively tried not to know him. But I was growing to know him. And he had stuck by me when I was doing the dumbest things with my life. He had been patient and kind and loving and so many good things. He wouldn't desert me in the woods like Edward had. He was nothing like Edward. I could trust him.

A tall dark figure appeared in front of me. My heart skipped a beat but when lightning struck again, I could see Jacob's concerned face. I gave him a bright smile and threw myself at him. I was excited to see him. He pulled me back to look at me and talk. I couldn't see his lips in the dark anyway. I led him back to the house with a goofy grin. Inside the house I kissed him passionately and pulled away to smile at him. Two of his friends followed us into the house looking as though they thought I had completely lost it. I felt a laugh but I was too excited to try to talk with him. I held up one finger to indicate that he wait. I ran to my oversized purse in his room to pull out my white marker board and marker. I stumbled back feeling my balance betray me for a moment. He was frowning when I came in and looking worried that something was very wrong. I gave him my best reassuring smile. I was trembling as I wrote on the board.

_I'm going to be okay! _

I held it up for him to see. He seemed to relax a little. I wiped the board and actively ignored his friends. I then wrote a simple message and held the board up with a sheepish smile.

_I fucked up. _

I could feel the room lighten. I saw his friends chuckling at me but still didn't pay enough attention to them to even see which friends they were. I gave them the finger and turned my attention back to Jacob. He was biting a lip trying not to laugh but clearly still worried. I used my hand to wipe the board again and wrote again.

_I didn't trust you and refused to know you._

I held up the board and saw him stiffen as he read my words. I wanted him to understand. His friends were starting to look uncomfortable. They were realizing they were watching an intimate moment. When Jacob had comforted me last night and right now, it felt more intimate than sex had felt with him. Opening up was one of the most terrifying things a person can do and I was putting all of my cards on the table one message at a time. I rubbed the board clean and became aware of the lump in my throat the tears threatening me. But I'd cried enough. This wasn't the time for tears. I wrote my next message.

_I was scared. But now I get it. _

My body shivered and again, I couldn't tell if it was the cold or the moment as I held the board up for him. He read it and stared at me. He opened his mouth and I watched his lips carefully.

_'What were you doing out in the storm?'_

He asked me. The lightening flashed in my mind again. I took a moment to breathe slowly and figure out what it was that drew me to it. I focused on my voice carefully. Hoping I got this right.

_'Lightning. Hot, fast, beautiful and overpowering. I run away from it in my dreams. I expect to get burned like Edward shattered me like ice. You...the imprint...are lightning. I wouldn't be fried by it if I kept a safe distance from it. Tonight I went to see the lightning.'_

I gave him a small timid smile and held my breath waiting for his reaction. When he didn't respond I feared he didn't understand my deaf speech or it worse, it didn't accept it. But I knew he wouldn't leave me. So I could be brave and wait.

I didn't see him move. I felt myself swept up in his arms and he was kissing me. My senses were filled with Jacob. I clung to him with all my stength. He thrust his tongue into my mouth and I sucked it deeper wanting him to fill me. My back hit a door. I breathed through my nose and was too drunk in his presence filling my senses to register which door and which room. My limbs wrapped around him my hands hungrily reached down to undo his pants to find he was wearing sweatpants. I ripped down and he assisted ripping them off. I reached for his erection not wanting another moment to pass without him inside me. But found my clothing was a barrier. Usually we had foreplay and carressed each other. But my body screamed demands at me.

_'Now!'_

I felt my voice growl frustrated by my leggings and underwear being in the way. I didn't register the rest of my clothes as they weren't holding barriers between him being inside of me. I felt a rumble in his chest and his hands under my butt holding me against the door. My cold wet leggings and underwear disintegrated from my skin hanging from my lower limbs. I pulled myself further up his body to accommodate his length and reached down to guide him into my folds. I then dropped down on him and felt my entire body shudder at the sudden invasion of his full length filling me. Heat and pleasure confused me as I could have sworn I could hear it roar inside me. It was the closest to a sound I had heard in a long time. I needed him to take me. I was on the pill but always used condoms liking the barrier between bodies. It made me feel safer. But right now, I wanted him to spurt into me. To fill my need.

_'Cum now!'_

I ordered into his ear. I wondered if it was loud or breathless or demanding. But didn't care. I would probably be embarrassed by my behaviour later. I didn't care if I orgasmed. I just needed to feel him inside me cumming right now. He pulled me back from the door, lifting me by the hips and bringing me up and down against his hips. He pulsed inside of me and I felt pleasure with every movement. This was unlike sex had ever been before. I actually cared that he enjoyed. I felt his heartbeat against me. His heat. His strength. His love. My orgasm was building with his faster than I had ever felt one build. I didn't know my body could do that. I was stunned and pleased by his hands holding my butt and hips lifting and bringing me down around him. I felt his rhythm lose it's steady frantic pace and slow to firm movements holding me longer against him between lifting me again and soon a shudder as I felt him cum inside. Knowing that he had cum aroused me and pulled me over the edge and and my walls clamped around him my uterus and vagina exploding out from me. I think I cried _'Jake'_, but I couldn't be sure. He managed to return to pulling in and out of me easing me through my orgasm. Each of his movements triggered another spasm so that I felt a series of orgasms taking over my body. I knew there were noises coming from me and felt a blush as this orgasm lasted long after Jacob was finished. This was new.

I finally collapsed against him feeling his body pulsating inside and around me. I felt heat and tingling radiating from my uterus down through my vulva and thighs. It was so much better than a hot soothing shower. My entire body was jelly against him. He continued to stand holding me for sometime, locked in embrace with him still inside me. I felt his breath on my back and enjoyed it. I couldn't hear his breathing. But feeling it was the next best thing. I was suddenly aware that my throat was sore and overworked.

Jacob moved to look at me holding my face between his hands and balancing me on his hips. My legs wrapped tighter around him holding me up.

_'That...was a long orgasm Bella.'_

I wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question. It had probably pushed a minute long. I blushed and moved to hide my face in his shoulder but he held me and gave me a quick kiss.

_'Don't be embarrassed.'_ He cocked his eyebrow and grinned. _'I'm just jealous.'_

I felt his body rock with soft laugher. He brought me down onto his bed and laid down with me. I frowned looking up at him as he leaned up on his elbow.

_'Was I loud?'_

I watched his face grin mischievously.

_'You rang out like an opera singer honey. Every werewolf and most of La Push heard that.'_

He continued talking but I buried my face in his shoulder. I thought about the storm and looked up at him angrily.

_'You liar! Storm!'_

He broke into laughter and I hit him with a pillow. He pulled me against him and hugged him and I reluctantly settled against him. I felt safe and warm and protected. I wasn't ready to become a complete sap. But I would enjoy these moments of refuge in future. We don't have to be strong and determined all of the time. Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes. Even Jacob, as strong as he was had friends to take care of him. I reasoned with myself.

Jacob pulled off the last of my clothing and pulled me onto his chest. I curled into Jacob and let him stroke my hair and trace fingers down my body. I pulled a sheet over me but he pulled it away. I felt him grunt. I felt his eyes moving down my body and sensed possessiveness. I wonder what he had been saying while we were having sex. He could have said anything he wanted and I wouldn't have heard him. I was curious but accepted that I would never know. 

I noticed the lightning again and happily watched the flashes of light hitting the room. My hair was almost dry and the cold and wet of my body had been made hot and clammy. I enjoyed our limbs twisted over each other. As though we were trying to merge through osmosis. I wanted to stay like this forever.

**AN: A little short. By the time I finished the sex scene, I realized that there wasn't much space for the next piece I wanted to put in and I'm not energetic enough to make a chapter that long. You've waited long enough for a lemon with all the fade to black sex scenes that have happened in this story. I didn't want to give any of the other sex too much emphasis and the best way to do that was to not describe it. Hope it works for you. **


	10. Newborns

**I don't own twilight or the characters from twilight.**

**Playing Imprint **

**Newborns **

Metric - Help I'm Alive

**AN: It's a little short. But it's an exciting chapter in my opinion. I hope you enjoy!**

I felt sudden movement waking up to the bright hot sun washing over me through the bedroom window. My eyes adjusted to Jacob landing on his bedroom floor looking out the window looking alert and ready to fight. I jerked upwards clutching a sheet to my chest feeling adrenalin pump through me. His head tilted to one side as he listened. His eyes grew wide with horror.

_'We'll be right out!' _I saw his lips move as his eyes darted to me. At a speed my eyes couldn't follow clearly, he pulled a t-shirt from his dresser and threw it to me. He crouched down in front of me and spoke clearly for me.

_'Caught a scent. Victoria was building an army. Edward says they're looking for her and you. They are in La Push. The Cullens are helping. You need to ride me out.' _He watched my face studiously and I could see an edge of fear to his eyes. I nodded my understanding and put the t-shirt on over underwear. He took my hand and pulled me up into his arms running out the door.

Outside in full view of the public I stood in only a t-shirt and Jacob naked. He set me down on my feet and phased lowering him back for me to climb on. I hung onto his fur, held my face down onto his collar and he shot off into the woods. At a shocking speed we reached a scene. A few Cullens and some of the pack were in combat with wild looking red eyed vampires. Jacob let me down beside Emily, his eyes warning me to stay where I was before he took off into battle. Emily was focused on a mangled but still breathing gray wolf at our feet. It hurt to look at the wolf. I was sure there were more of the pack than I saw fighting.

I tapped Emily's shoulder. _'Where are the rest?'_ I spoke as clearly as I could. Her lip trembled before a determined look set her face. She leaned back on her heels and handed me a gun.

_'I don't know how...' _She trailed off looking at it. I checked the rounds had been adjusted and loaded the gun taking postion focusing my aim out from the battle. I didn't want anyone sneaking up on us. I hoped Emily was ready to cry because she didn't know where the others were and not because they were already dead.

I saw blood and vampire parts strewn across the ground. The battle moved too fast for my human eyes. I recognized Carlisle, Esme and Edward together. But there wasn't any sign of Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper. I couldn't figure out if I wanted them to be fighting with the other wolves or not. I didn't want more of my family risked for me, but I wanted the pack to have all the help they could get. I saw two vampires come to pieces and go to the ground before Esme was caught by one of the red eyed monsters. Carlisle and a chocolate brown wolf shot after the attacker and pulled a hurt Esme free, but not before the chocolate brown wolf was badly hurt. He appeared unable to move his lower half. He dragged himself out of the way and I wished he wasn't too heavy for me to help and that I felt free to move that close to the action. The red eyed vampires appeared to be stronger and outnumbered our group. They began to press down and I could see our group begin to drop back towards us.

I turned my attention back to watching our backs. I saw a blur but didn't wait to focus. I knew the blur would arrive faster than I should aim and shoot. At least I could try to make them pause. The light blur came to a halt and I could see a young girl of about fifteen years touch her arm. She looked at me with shocked red eyes. I smirked before firing at her chest when she seemed to vanish and have hold of Emily. I backed away holding my gun and hands up. I felt a presence and whirled around. I fired at a blur in the trees and took off running realizing we had been cut off from the pack. I caught sight of the young vampire's back turned to me and fired at the back of her head. I spun around feeling that presence again. I saw a blur and instinct told me they would zig zag. Odds were good they would be right handed so I aimed to the left of the blur in the forest. An middle aged man jerked to a stop and pressed against a tree. I backed up quickly and saw Emily running to me. She was crying but had control of her emotions. More vampires had joined the fray against the Cullen's and Pack. Emily and I moved together keeping our eyes on the shot vampires still relatively close to us. She showed me another cartridge of bullets in her hand.

As we passed closer to the female vampire, I could see her shredded skull pulling back together. I guessed the middle aged vampire would be recovered enough to move and shot into his upper chest. He fell to his knees. I tapped Emily indicating to her that it was time to run. She nodded and we ran. It was a hot day but the forest canopy kept most of the heat out. My lungs burned with exercise and adrenalin kept my pain from surgery at bay. We reached a small stream when I felt danger anew. Emily either heard or saw it at the same time over her shoulder and tapped my arm. I braced myself and aimed again. A smug pale white woman approached slowly. Emily dropped down to one knee and held her hands over her ears as I shot into the vampires chest. _One shot to slow 'em down._ I moved forward swiftly and shot again into her face at point blank range. _Another shot to give us a head start. _I didn't want to waste bullets. Who knew how many more vampires we would come across. But I needed to make sure I gave us as much advantage as possible. I looked at Emily and she nodded at me.

We ran again crossing the stream splashing water up our legs. Emily took her shirt off as she ran, tied a knot in it. The knot made the shirt more like a ball and she launched it into the air to our left. I didn't know what she was doing but was impressed by her throwing arm. I sensed with each other's company we were able to keep calm and focused. My muscles were powered by adrenalin and my lungs heaved for breath. I knew I was slow and holding her back due to recovering from surgery, I wasn't at my full strength even if adrenalin was helping me a good deal. I did notice that she had surprising atheleticism for a woman I only ever saw cook and clean.

We jolted to a stop when we saw a young man. Brady. He smiled at us. I looked at Emily. She grinned and looked at me.

_'It's just left overs now. Can I just say you two rock?'_ They talked more but I stopped watching their lips. Relief drenched me and I felt ready to cry. I felt so sure I wouldn't survive another run in against vampires. But this time I hadn't been alone. I had Emily. I threw my arms around her neck and dragged her to me. We held each other tightly and began to laugh as the tension eased from our bodies. We pulled away and looked at each other smiling.

* * *

Seth led us back to the Pack and the Cullens. Seth and Emily talked. I couldn't see their lips. I watched around us warily still not convinced that we were safe. I caught Seth looking around. When he saw that I was watching he gave me a warm reassuring smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. That didn't reassure me much.

I smelled pungent fire before I saw anyone. The Cullens had already left the territory by the time we got back. We had run further than I had realized. I saw a small cheer from the guys when we reached them. Jake and Sam swept us up off our feet. Jake engulfed me in kisses. They finished gathering pieces and Jacob told me all about the battle.

Victoria had a created a newborn army of about fifteen or more vampires. They had broken into three groups. One group attacked the hospital, one group had sprung up in my back yard and the last group in La Push heading for Jacobs home. The Newborns attacked almost simultaneously. Alice saw the attack at the hospital and at my home to take care of it with the Cullen's. But some had splintered off towards La Push as the Cullen's didn't have time to make plans. The small army had attacked homes set back from the main roads in the woods so the Cullen's were taking charge of a victim who had been bitten and was now changing who hadn't died. The Pack had been divided as one group came into La Push and other vampires were scattered in the woods.

There had been casualties. Paul, Quil, Esme and Collin were injured. Paul got the worst of it. I felt guilty that I hadn't only disrupted the packs lives but now there had been human deaths and pack injuries and Cullen injuries. But everyone was just so happy that two imprints had come out unscathed if not dressed given that we returned one without pants and one without her shirt. I told Jacob that between the Pack stripping and me stripping it was only a matter of time before we rubbed off on Emily. She later explained she had a plan to leave false scent trails doubling back on ourselves but Seth had come anyway. That night, the Pack had a pizza and movie night at Sam and Emily's. For the first time, I felt comfortable around the Pack and slept soundedly against Jacob's chest on the couch.


End file.
